Columns! But wait, WTF?!

I managed to score the day off before the Fourth. Lawrence didn't have plans, so we thought that, at long last, we could FINALLY get the columns up. It was a day I had been waiting for since November when they had finally arrived (more than two months after they were ordered) and were hauled home.

We unpacked the first box and searched in vain for instructions. We opened a second box. Still, no instructions. Oh well. It seemed forthright enough. Four rounded panels. You snap them together. All there is to it, right? Not quite.

I'll admit, that first one sent me into small fits of rage. Each time we thought we had it whipped, something went awry. And then, finally ...  There it was! The first one.

I was like a kid in a candy store. Wound up and happy to finally see this. Until we opened up the first of five boxes, each containing a cap and base.

Last fall, when the three-week delivery time on the columns was hitting four weeks (and would ultimately hit nearly nine weeks) I called to change my order. "I can't wait anymore ... the roof has to go on," I said. "I need the two-piece cap and base instead of the one." The two-piece version means I'd be able to wrap the two pieces around the column and attach. OK. Done.

Except here in my hands was a one-piece base and a one-piece cap. WTF?! Now what?!

The ever-unflappable Lawrence shook his head and calmly replied: "I guess we're just putting up columns today." And that's exactly what we did!

Two columns. Then three. (You get the idea by now.)

Slowly, the support posts began to disappear and the patio began to take on a more finished look. I had to pry myself away from the middle of the backyard, each time a new one went up. With everything cleared out of the way so we could work, and the construction materials becoming so many empty boxes, it was coming together – FINALLY – before my very eyes! 

My excitement waned, however, when conversation shifted back to the caps and bases. Having taken almost nine weeks to get them, I did not relish the thought of extending this project ANOTHER nine weeks. (By that point, we’d surpass a year since starting!) But what were my options? Before we called it a day on Thursday (nearly 10 hours in), Lawrence and I had arrived at a plan when he returned on Saturday. Would it work? We’d soon find out.