A Serious Disconnect

Have you ever seen the movie “Cool Hand Luke?” If so, you’re no doubt familiar with the line: “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”

Earlier this month, we ported our landline to AT&T Wireless Home Phone. Make sure you check this out. If you live in an area with relatively good cell coverage, it should work for you. And, at $20/month for unlimited local and long distance and a host of other plusses, there’s not much to dislike. But I digress.

So, the system works. (It won’t work with more than two analog phones though, both of which would have to be hooked into the portable signal box for either phone to be of any use to you.) D*mmit! I’m off track again, but the home phone is central to the story so bear with me.

The timing of this transfer is pretty advantageous. Just Monday, Lawrence had to remove the landline from the house (still connected, but hanging loose) so we could continue working on the patio roof. Before we can put the ceiling in, it has to be gone entirely. We’re still a little ways from that point, but the line has to go. Until I knew whether the wireless home phone would work, I hesitated to have the landline removed and mulled just moving it. Now I know the system works and now the d*mned line is in the way. So I called the phone company.

I called the number listed on their site for repair. I do, after all, need a lineman even though nothing was broken. I get automation and 97 choices. OK. Not that many – but not one that really helped. I ended up pushing the first option. More automation. Key in your phone number. When I do that, I’m dropped from the loop because having ported my number to wireless service, I’m now a Mobility customer with AT&T NOT a landline residential. It tries to transfer me to Mobility. I hang up and start over. I choose a different option this time. I get a person. When I explain my situation to him, he says, “You need to speak to Mobility.” NO! No, I don’t! So I explain again, spelling out WHY Mobility can’t help me. “I need a lineman … from the landline folks!” He puts me on hold, promising to connect me to a person. Before anyone picks up, I get: “Please enter your telephone number.” Oh, brother. Here we go … AGAIN! Disconnected.

On the third call, I go through the automated process yet again and then get another guy who again promises to transfer me. (He gave me a number though to call back in case I got disconnected again.) On the third ring, it took about five seconds for me to get this response: “Sure. I can get someone out there before 6 p.m. today.”

And about 90 minutes later, the line was GONE. BOO-yah!