P-A-I-N-T

The mother is a painting fool! Since yesterday, she has painted:

• Four 4x4 posts
• Finials for each of the 4x4 posts
• Roughly 34 linear feet of handrailing
• 24 spindles

This was all virgin wood, so she’s done each piece twice. She even painted into the night after we carried all of this in to the family room. (Just in case it rained.) Now the family room, in addition to already looking like a warehouse, now smells like a paint factory. All this stuff needs to be ready to go for Saturday when Lawrence will come to assemble and install it.

This tally doesn’t include the old posts (that she made me salvage from the old rail) a bunch of decorative pieces , and a 24-inch round wood piece that sits atop the air conditioner each winter.

I’m afraid to stand still in front of her – she might slap a coat on me!

Luckily, Mother Nature held out for a fifth consecutive day – FIVE WHOLE DAYS – with no rain except for a spritz on Sunday. (It wasn’t even enough to consider it a shower.) They’re saying there’s only a slight chance for rain today which would make it SIX days.

Soon, the mother will be ready to start painting around the foundation of the house. That means I have bricks to move. UGH. I had planned to have them out of the way and actually in the walkway by now, but as you know, that just hasn't happened --yet.

I guess we’ll just have to see how far I get this weekend, when they are predicting rain again.

The Zen of Lawrence

If Thursday sucked (and it did) yesterday was its polar opposite. I got off to a slow start but awoke to a bright, sunny 70-degree day. PERFECT for fence installation!

My motivation level was a bit low and I took my time getting charged to work. I got up as I planned starting caring for critters and ran and got breakfast. When I got back, I started setting up for a workin' day. I wanted to mow the patch of grass where the new fence was going up before we got going. I wanted to have the sawhorses set up and the guide post and next post waiting.

I didn't get that far. I'd pushed the lawnmower to the edge of the alley and was preparing to start it when Lawrence pulled up, promptly at 9. You can always depend on Lawrence to arrive, but usually when he says between 9 and 9:30, he means BETWEEN the two, so he caught me off guard. He unloaded his truck and patiently waited for me to get my act together by starting to mark off the fence line after saying, "Good morning. Welcome to this beautiful day!"

Because it was a truly beautiful day (a few degrees over 80 ultimately, SUNNY, warm for a while in the sun but not roast-you-alive hot, blue skies, HUGE clouds) we seemed to make progress at an alarming rate. By 1, the fence was up. This included stopping to dig out all the materials for the porch rail from the shed, a trip to Ace for more screws, and a short lunch break.

While I ran to get more screws and lunch (apparently I was shorted a bag in the fence hardware), Lawrence sketched out the dimensions for the porch. When I pulled back into the driveway, he was sitting on the porch with spindles, handrails, and posts laid out around it. I was looking at his 3-D sketch.

As Lawrence was packing up, Lawnmower Man (not to be confused with Stan, Stan the Lawnmower man who fixes lawnmowers including mine)zipped across the half-lot on his rider and stopped to talk to my neighbor. I prayed he didn't have the blade down. Lawnmower Man cuts grass CONSTANTLY. His own. My neighbor's. My other neighbor, who, like me, finally made him stop. He makes HUGE messes. And sometimes, he does this job drunk, and it reflects in the finished product: Grass of varying heights. Twice this week already he has littered our sidewalk with grass and twice it's been cleaned up.

I quickly explained the situation to Lawrence. "That's the kind of guy that needs something to do ACROSS TOWN," was his response. It made me laugh. No malice in that. You have to love Lawrence's outlook.

God, why can't you have made more Lawrences than a**holes for this diligent DIY set? I thank you for him. Perhaps you could send his separated-at-birth brothers to help out Liz whose drywaller is a creep. Or to help Jen in her never-ending battle with Cabinet Guy. Or to help out any of the DIY brethren and siztheren who so desperately need an honest, reliable, and kind handyperson.

When I spoke to Lawrence last weekend to schedule yesterday, I was worried by the forecast then. Thursday and maybe Friday called for rain. "It won't rain," Lawrence said nonchalantly. "It rained today already (refering to last Sunday's soaker)so it won't rain Friday."

So I said to him yesterday that the day was like he had special-ordered it. "I did," Lawrence said. Yes, I believe you did, Lawrence. I believe you did.

As If I Could

I get a daily horoscope via email just for fun. Today's edition made me laugh:
This would be a good day to stay home and spend much of the day in bed, NV! You have been working especially hard lately, juggling both home and work with your usual aplomb. But today you may be feeling a bit worn out and overwhelmed by all that remains to be done. Give yourself a day of rest. Spend the day with a good book or some romantic videos. You will find this solitary time refreshing.

Startlingly accurate, though completely impossible to heed even though technically this is a vacation day. I did get almost seven hours of sleep (about 30 percent more than normal) but Lawrence will be here soon. Today's plan: finish the fence and cut the boards for the porch rail. I'm hoping that we might also put the posts in for it today, but we'll see.

I've got my drill charged and plenty of water in the fridge, plus a few damp rags in the freezer. It's supposed to be a super nice day weatherwise. I'm thrilled. Besides, I think I'm owed a few of those. In fact, it's forecast currently to be nice ALL WEEKEND. This I gotta see to believe. But I can hope, right?

I'm going to try again to post yesterday's doomed "pretty picture." While only a few of them are still alive, my assistant surprised me with these last week as we didn't have an office birthday gathering 'til the other day.

So ... here I go. Off to feed pets and then grab breakfast to feed people. And to caffeinate. Must supercharge to get things done today! Wish me luck.

Take THAT, Mother Nature!

Mother Nature -- Look lady, you've really been pushin' my buttons this summer. But, you can slow me down, you can knock me down, you can even occasionally get me down. But you'll never keep me there ... for long.

But hey, in spite of your best shot, I still get to say four words I NEVER thought I'd be able to in the same sentence: THE PORCH IS DONE!

Mother Nature tried to drown out my joy over FINISHING THE PORCH by not letting me start my walkway this morning. I napped instead. I did a brief happy dance this morning before I covered it, after ensuring that the last bricks had set up.

I didn't wake up very invigorated from my nap, but returned to the mud pit and started digging. (Yesterday's heat took its toll, combined with having the thumbs and index fingers on both hands bloody and raw because at some point, I never put gloves back on. Have you ever tried to do anything with FOUR BAND-AIDS on? It doesn't work very well.)

I took out 60 gallons of dirt and debris before calling it a day. Unfortunately, it was a relatively small dent in what needs to come out. While I was working, Mean Old Man (he from my near throwdown episode) walked by. He stayed on the other side of the street though and didn't even look my way. Smart man.

When I came in a few hours ago, I called Lawrence. He's got a dicey week ahead, so we're tentatively on for Friday to finish the fence. Here's hoping!

Something Is Missing

Something is definitely missing, and I finally figured out what: July! Where the hell did July go?! Wasn’t it just the summer solstice about five minutes ago?

Ever since I was a kid, summer was pretty much over after my birthday. And it has come and gone and now the whole month is ending! How did that happen?! Tell me I’m not the only one for whom the summer just sped by like a NASCAR racer around the track.

I’m starting to feel the pinch of the summer wrap-up, though I’m hoping that the weather will hold through much of October. (After all, if Mother Nature hadn’t been crying her eyes out every other minute since March, I’d have 75 percent of my outside stuff DONE already.) I feel good about what I have been able to accomplish so far this summer, but as we go hurtling towards fall, I’m getting a little nervous.

I wasn’t able to reach Lawrence today; I’ll try again tonight. I need to get on his schedule to get the last two panels of fence up and so that he can get the rails/posts cut for the porch. That way, the mother can paint them before he assembles them. And has she got big plans for painting! She’s got: the foundation of the house; the porch railing, more gingerbread than I want to talk about (because after it‘s painted, guess who gets to install it?), and whatever boards I get to repair the shed temporarily until we can replace it. And those are just the highlights of OUTSIDE.

Inside … nope, I’m not going there yet. My head has exploded already!

So, to console myself about all the work ahead, I went on the hunt for a third photo of Ozzie to submit. And, it is, of course this one! How could I have forgotten about it?! That was my other missing thing for the day.

I really love this shot. This is the view I get when I come home each night. So this one HAS to get submitted. OK, all done with cute now for a while anyway, I promise. Thanks for indulging me!

Lessons From Lawrence

You can’t spend any amount of time with Lawrence without it affecting you in some way. He is by far one of the most optimistic and positive people I’ve ever met. What we can all learn from Lawrence goes way beyond his almost endless supply of construction knowledge. Here’s a few lessons from yesterday.

1. Always look on the bright side. (Don’t go all Monty Python on me here.) But seriously, this guy never seems to get rattled by anything. If they could bottle whatever it is he has, no one would need Prozac, Xanax or any number of other anti-depressants. You just can’t get this guy down. When he called me accidentally Tuesday, one of the closing comments between us was me saying that I hoped we had a better day to work on Wednesday than today. (The first half of Tuesday was riddled with thundershowers.) Lawrence’s response: “Well, that just made the ground that much easier for us to dig into.”
2. Don’t slow down – for long. Lawrence isn’t big on breaks. Me, after 90 minutes in the sun, I’ve got to have some water and a sit-down in the shade. He acquiesced a little yesterday, but not much. In part, it was because his hand was hurting, though he wouldn’t admit it. And I couldn’t get him to quit. He is right though about stopping. If you take too long a break, it’s much too hard to get started again. Quoth Lawrence: “You can think of a thousand different reasons why you just don’t need to do it today.”
3. Measure thrice. Dig once. This is a twist on the old rule of cutting as it applies to fence post digging.
4. Just keep going. At 70, Lawrence is in awesome shape. He’s not a big guy. No bulging pecs or six-pack abs. But I would put him up against the average 40-year-old workman any day and bet that at the end of the day, Lawrence is the one still going.
5. Post-hole diggers need a new shape. Had to share this because it’s one of those observations by Lawrence that I think characterizes how he thinks. “You can’t put a six-inch square in a five-inch round.” Essentially, trying to put in one of today’s larger-sized vinyl fence posts into a hole dug with a standard post-hole digger is just that.

I’ve only known Lawrence a little over a year, but I have to say I think I’m a better person for it. And I know my house is a better place because of it.

The Fence Is Up

Well, sort of. Most of the fence is up would be more accurate. Lawrence came this morning and we spent the entire day putting up the six new panels that separate the backyard from the alley.

There are two more panels to go. Those go on the other side of the driveway, separating our half-lot from the alley. Unfortunately, we can’t finish this weekend because Lawrence is busy. So I still have two panels and three posts on a pallet in the driveway. Damn! I so wanted to get that pallet outta here this weekend.

In a word, digging post holes sucks. If I never did it again, it would be too soon. Actually, it probably wouldn’t be as bad but I haven’t had enough time to recover from the sledgehammer work and my poor wrists … let’s just say they hurt. Bad.

The new Black & Decker drill (9.6-volt cordless) made its debut today and its performance was spectacular. It lasted all day and I put in no less than 150 screws. It ends up being a really great gift after all. (I admit that I wondered about it. I'm no longer a doubter.)

But my day began long before Lawrence arrived – which he did as I was trying to read a few blogs.

True to his word, Dago was here before 8. I helped fill a backhoe loader (it took 2 loads to get all of the sidewalk). He got part of the big root, but only part. Still gotta dig the rest of that sucker out! Mom tried today while she was on yet another weeding mission, but no dice.

Afterward, I mowed a little of the back yard. But I was wearing down, even then. And Lawrence arrived about 20 minutes after I stopped. After that, I was in almost constant motion until 7:30 p.m.

It was a productive, albeit draining, day. And tomorrow I go back to work.

The pictures show the end result. All in all I think it was worth it.

Some Quick Stats

The Fence
Number of Days 'Til the New Fence Goes Up: 7 (including today)
Percent of Rain Chance Forecast for July 23: 10
Number of Panels Going Up: 8
Number of Poles Going Up: 10
Percent Chance That Lawrence Will Be Well Enough to Proceed: 95

The Walkway
Percent of Rain Chance Forecast for This Weekend: 20 on Saturday, 10 on Sunday
Chance That It Will Rain Both Days Anyway: 70 percent
Number of Concrete Slabs Left to Remove: 5
Chance That I'll Pay Someone $600 to Do It: 0 percent
Chance That I'll Finish the Porch This Weekend: 95 percent
Chance That I'll Ever Finish the Walkway: 50 percent
Chance That I'll Ride the New Cart Before Putting Supplies on It: 100 percent

Ding, Dong The Shrubs Are Gone!!!

All I can say is WHAT a day! The only downside, no porch progress.

Most Excellent Friend Chele and Most Excellent Hubby Doug came in his truck before noon today and quickly vanquished the vicious vegetation that was our shrubs. The one that was planted last year to replace one that died is still here, as are the two smaller and more manageable of the shrubs. But the three monsters ... GONE!

I can't say thank-you enough. The absence of Hell's Shrubbery truly is a godsend.

After I came home from the dump, where they were kind enough to go and dispose of the evil trees, I finished digging out what roots remained and began filling in the gaping holes. It was blistering hot in the sun and by the time I'd finished, I was beat. Instead of calling it a day, we went to Home Depot and Lowe's.

At HD, I bought the fence. It is supposed to be delivered Tuesday. (Perfect, since I'll still be home on vacation.) Now, I have to get a hold of Lawrence, and call my cousin to remove the old fence. Things are happening -- and at a rapid pace, too! Makes my head spin.

At Lowe's, I bought some more mortar and 100 more bricks. I got to use my $10 off coupon AND even received another one, still good 'til the 14th. So, savings abound! They had quite a few bricks, and they were kind enough to put the pallet in the floor for me to pick through. Tonight, I even let them load them into the car, something I usually do myself.

That said, now home and having had dinner -- and not unloaded the car, I'm somewhere between exhausted and dead. But, unless they have changed the forecast, it will be dry tomorrow, so maybe I can make up for what I didn't do today. But it really was a good day with a mad dash of activity. I'm grateful for everything that was accomplished and for all the wonderful people who helped make it so.

After the Storm (s)

Things began to die down last night as sunset approached. In fact, the sun started peeking through as one of the last heavy showers fell. Me being me, I began searching madly for the rainbow.

I found it.

And then I found the sun shining through my neighbor's rain gauge and thought that was an interesting shot. Looks like we got in excess of 2.5 inches of rain. And we're in for more. In fact, we've already had at least one round this morning, The doppler, though, doesn't show anything else immediate but says there's a 30 percent chance, and that we're possibly in for a thunderstorm.

I hope the chance stays low as I am going to meet Lawrence later to get that new water heater! After some comments on the blog, discussions with some folks at work, and wisdom from Lawrence, I've decided to go with the GE at Home Depot. Lawrence has something going on this morning so I'm going to meet him at the store later. Going a little earlier to get some things I need for other projects.

I spent about two hours last night moving all the gear that has currently taken up residence in the family room (all for future This D*mn House projects) so that we have a clear path in and out of the basement for the great water heater exchange. While that takes a lot off my mind, it puts it a lot on my plate. So, going to grab some breakfast and get the day under way. Yee-hah!