A Taz Update

My inbox was flooded this morning so I didn’t immediately notice the email from Taz’s mama. I always am quick to open these as I love getting updates on this little girl whom fate saw fit to bring to This D*mn House last summer.

Taz’s mama shared a quick update: "She is forever sitting on my husband’s lap…..which is where she usually is when I come home from work. Once I get home, she follows me all over the place and when I settle down to watch TV she is in my TV room with me. She loves her window seat especially since we have a little bunny that is living under one of our bushes…..she is amazed by the bunny. She is very healthy…..eats, poops, pees and sleeps…….and plays like crazy. She keeps us laughing all the time.”

Just further proof to me that Taz was truly sent! I wish she had sent a photo. Bet that little girl is getting big! Taz’s mama also sent me the following which I thought was hilarious so I’m sharing it, too, as I know that the vast majority of you have furry family members.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door:

Dear Dog and Cat --
· The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
· The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
· I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
· For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom on my own for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
· The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, and then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
· Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.