Dear crystal meth-makers, insurance companies, and various state legislatures,
THANK YOU so much for making my practically year-round seasonal allergy issues just a little more painful. The whole stand in line and show your driver’s license and sign the touchscreen routine is so convenient. And it makes SO much sense, too. I mean, if I’m out to make meth, I should DEFINITELY spring for one of the most expensive allergy meds out there (Claritin-D) and NOT those generic little Red Hot candy-looking pills that usually come 5 million to a box and cost just a couple bucks. Yeah, expensive is definitely the route to go. Definitely.
THANK YOU legislatures for writing such detailed laws that technically, I might have had to go without a night’s meds, even though I buy in legal quantities and had nine days lapse in between purchases. (Thank God I had my mother with me. She was able to legally purchase this medication so I would not have to skip a night.) According to the Wal-Mart pharmacist, while I had purchased on Jan. 15 and again on Feb. 3, both legally, that meant that I was technically unable to buy more until Feb. 15 because buying on Feb. 12 would exceed the amount in a 30-day limit – even though I had only 2 pills left, one each for the 12th and 13th. Meaning, I would have to skip a dose in the interim. Seriously? Is this what you really intended? I prefer to think not.
And a double THANK YOU to the insurance companies who started all this mess to begin with by raising co-pays steadily on these drugs and planting the idea within the minds of the manufacturers that they could just as easily collect this money themselves. And one by one, they decided to do just that. With the prescription requirement lifted, every idiot redneck in the world was free to suck up as much pseudoephedrine as they could carry. And the cockamamie system by which we now must abide in order to breathe was born.
For the record, I have no real issue with the tracking of the purchases. Fine. Here’s my ID. Do what you must. But when it comes to being kept from buying enough medication to take every day, I’m afraid I’m going to protest that. And loudly.
Also for the record, the only crystal anything that I’m addicted to? Crystal Light Raspberry Lemonade. Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!