Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Something to Sneeze About

Dear crystal meth-makers, insurance companies, and various state legislatures,

THANK YOU so much for making my practically year-round seasonal allergy issues just a little more painful. The whole stand in line and show your driver’s license and sign the touchscreen routine is so convenient. And it makes SO much sense, too. I mean, if I’m out to make meth, I should DEFINITELY spring for one of the most expensive allergy meds out there (Claritin-D) and NOT those generic little Red Hot candy-looking pills that usually come 5 million to a box and cost just a couple bucks. Yeah, expensive is definitely the route to go. Definitely.

THANK YOU legislatures for writing such detailed laws that technically, I might have had to go without a night’s meds, even though I buy in legal quantities and had nine days lapse in between purchases. (Thank God I had my mother with me. She was able to legally purchase this medication so I would not have to skip a night.) According to the Wal-Mart pharmacist, while I had purchased on Jan. 15 and again on Feb. 3, both legally, that meant that I was technically unable to buy more until Feb. 15 because buying on Feb. 12 would exceed the amount in a 30-day limit – even though I had only 2 pills left, one each for the 12th and 13th. Meaning, I would have to skip a dose in the interim. Seriously? Is this what you really intended? I prefer to think not.

And a double THANK YOU to the insurance companies who started all this mess to begin with by raising co-pays steadily on these drugs and planting the idea within the minds of the manufacturers that they could just as easily collect this money themselves. And one by one, they decided to do just that. With the prescription requirement lifted, every idiot redneck in the world was free to suck up as much pseudoephedrine as they could carry. And the cockamamie system by which we now must abide in order to breathe was born.

For the record, I have no real issue with the tracking of the purchases. Fine. Here’s my ID. Do what you must. But when it comes to being kept from buying enough medication to take every day, I’m afraid I’m going to protest that. And loudly.

Also for the record, the only crystal anything that I’m addicted to? Crystal Light Raspberry Lemonade. Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!


Anonymous said...



A friend of mine and I were just having the same conversation this week because he asked to see - the written documents - of what exactly he was signing for.

Next time you do an allergy med run ask to see/read the very documents that you are signing off on.

I was shocked, and yet found a strange sense of humor in it. Why? WOW! - You have got to be kidding me! It's is it unreal what is contained in this law.


Anonymous said...

I really should have another cup of tea before I make comments. LOL!

I see that I put "it's is it" -oops!


karen said...


Karen Anne said...

While we're on the topic of government stupidity, I phoned Social Security this morning and it took about ten minutes to even get in the queue to speak to a human because the recorded stuff was blathering away about exactly which law allowed them to ask for stuff like my...name and Social Security number, and then in the middle of answering what the automaton had already told me were six questions, it slowly explained again that "there are only a few more questions to answer." Like I can't count to six.

What a vast amount of time is wasted in these stupid menus for, well, it's not just the government, it's BigCorps too. God forbid we take up 20 seconds of an employee's time when instead we can spend ten interminable minutes telling the automaton, yes, I did spell my name like that.

elaine said...

No, thank YOU, God bless you, and Gesundheit!

Why S? said...

Crystal meth is a natural herd thinner. It should be legal on the basis of that alone.

Jayne said...

I take Claritin-D every day, too, and my doctor writes a prescription for it so I can get 3 boxes at a time. You might try that.

Vicki said...

Yeah! Unfortunately it's so much easier for them to go to the ultimate instead of thinking out a rational system that would benefit the people instead of the system. As of 24 Feb the National Archives will no longer allow photography of any kind due to the fact that some morons cannot figure out their cameras (or just don't care) and take pictures with flash. So, instead of doing something like asking people to prove they can take a picture without flash before they get up to the Declaration of Independence they're just going to outlaw all photography.

Anonymous said...