Look What I Did Entry: My Front Porch

This post was written for Houseblogs.net as part of a sweepstakes sponsored by True Value.

I just read all the rules for the contest that Houseblogs.net is running in conjunction with True Value Hardware's StartRightStartHere contest. Even though my front porch is only about 98 percent complete, I've decided to enter it anyway. There are roughly 16 perimeter bricks that need to be in place and a new handrail to go up to finish it. If that's held against me, so be it. I've been plagued by rain and dangerously high temps the past week so I've done the best I could. But since it looks like winners are being randomly selected, what do I have to lose? Here goes nothing!

If you've been following the blog, you know the story. I took a standard concrete slab porch and turned it into a brick one. It took almost a month of steady work and several weeks of prep. You see, I started hauling bricks home (100 to 150 at a time) in my car trunk in April. Likewise for the hundreds of pounds of mortar and sand.

I can say that all but 200 of the bricks so far (I'm doing a walkway next after just ripping out the existing concrete one with a sledgehammer, pickax and prybar) came home that way. The 200 were hauled by my handyman Lawrence when we jammed them into his truck with a new water heater.

I have hand-selected EVERY BRICK for this job. I have also done every bit of it myself using info I found online and the advice of a good union man. I think that this is one of my biggest undertakings, especially since I've never done any kind of concrete/mortar work on this scale before. So, forgive me if I'm a bit too proud of it. It's not perfect, but I think it looks d*mn good. It really was a case of throwing body and soul into a project. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

Thank you to the many folks in real life and cyber life who have encouraged me along the way. You'll never know what a help that was.

Life in the Power-Free Zone

I feel very much like the scene in Network where Peter Finch throws open the window and yells, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"

For the fifth or sixth time in a month -- the THIRD time in a week -- we are without power. Ameren, you're really trying my patience. Their Web site tells me that once again, the same 288 customers are without power right along with me. You'd think that after this many times it would be fixed. You'd think --but you'd be wrong.

If it's the SAME area that many times over a short amount of time that is affected, wouldn't you think you'd be able to isolate the problem? I guess not. That's more power outages in a month that we had in all the previous years COMBINED that we had Illinois Power. Ridiculous.

I guess I should be thankful because I had just gotten out of the shower and into my pajamas. Otherwise, I'd have been in the shower at the time.

I have a few things I need to do for work since I don't go back 'til Thursday, so I guess I'd best do them while the computer still has some battery power.

Happy friggin' birthday. The day can only get better, right?

Now what?

That seems to be the question on everyone’s mind when it comes to the walkway. The quick and ultimate answer: bricks. But first, there are a whole lot of “now whats” to be done.

Right now, the entire walkway is covered in heavy gauge plastic. We may get rain tonight and maybe again tomorrow. After all those years of having the sidewalk to safeguard against water seeping beneath the house, I sure don’t want to leave it exposed for any longer than I have to.

First, I have to finish the perimeter of the porch. Once you can no longer see the gray facing of the plain concrete, the porch will be complete. Then, once those bricks are in place, I get to play with rocks and sand. LOTS of rocks and sand.

Before I do that though, I have to even out the dirt sides and put in some metal landscape forms. Technically, I don’t have to do that, but I’d rather do it than risk having no barrier between where all the landscape rocks and the yard meet the bricks. Then, I will put down a few inches of gravel and level the whole thing and tamp it down firmly. This is going to take a while. In the pictures, the walkway may not look very big, but it’s about 30 feet long total and more than 2 feet at its widest.

Then, I get to do the same thing again with a combination of mortar mix and sand. Fill it up, level it out. Tamp it down.

And finally, I will get to lay bricks in what’s known as a running bond pattern. (I chose this first, because I like it, and second, because I saw several references to this being the easiest pattern when doing a curved walkway.) I won’t have that several rows of straight lines in between. It’s just a continuous curve with the rows of bricks having a staggered start. I think it’s simple and classic and won’t clash with the pattern on the porch.

Then, I get to sweep in mortar and sand and mist 'er down. I'm sure I'll be doing it a little at a time. Look how long it took to do the porch without all this prep work! *Sigh*

It’s going to be a lot of work and I’m not sure how long it’s going to take. I'm hoping to have it done by the end of next weekend. A lot will depend on Mother Nature’s cooperation and she has been quite the beeotch this year, so I won’t hold my breath. We'll just have to see what happens.

I keep telling myself it's going to look great, it will all be worth it and I'll be sooo glad I did it.

Uh-huh. Keep on talkin.'

Rakin' It In

It isn't even my birthday yet and somehow I've managed to rake in the goods already. The mother shocked me with the best of both worlds: More cute shoes, a new belt, and a cordless drill! (I got it early thanks to my continued discussion about buying a new drill.) The drill came with all kinds of stuff including a new hammer, a few sets of pliers and a stud sensor in addition to about two dozen different drill and driver bits.

Then, my former client turned friend sent me a darling necklace that arrived on Saturday. And, of course, there's still the unused Lowe's gift card that arrived last month because of a calendar error. It doesn't get much better than that.

I have to call the JULIE people to get the utilities marked for our fence project and make sure Lawrence is still on for Wednesday. While rain is in the forecast today and tomorrow, it's supposed to (noddin' at KayO)be dry on Wednesday. I'll take the rain tomorrow -- as long as it doesn't rain on my cake -- if it will be dry to get the fence up Wednesday.

I didn't get the porch done yesterday as I'd liked, so I guess I won't be entering the Houseblogs contest with TrueValue. (They're giving away three $300 cards for entering your favorite project.)Oh well.

It's Not the Heat -- It's the Humidity

You hear that a lot in the Midwest. Today, it was both. The official high today -- so far -- 99 degrees. I stopped after a little less than six hours.

Between the heat, which caused me to break out into a sweat in the shade, the beating sun, and the bone-searing humidity, I could stand no more. Not to mention my wrists and fingers, which have borne the brunt of the sidewalk saga.

I got all of the debris (the sidewalk chunks photo from yesterday wasn't complete. There were three stacks still in the driveway) out to the alley and tried to pick out the bigger stray pieces out of walkway pit. I cut a few of the perimeter bricks and started pulling up the worthless landscaping material I'd put down last year. (It's made by DuPont and it's crap. And it wasn't cheap either.)

The masonry blade was worn out anyway so I slipped on the metal-cutting one and trimmed the elbow drain on one side. With the bricks on the porch, the drain is now flush -- and a little too flush -- with the porch, pouring water all over my bricks, and loosening two of them out of place. (They weren't completely in place anyway, but this had to get fixed.) With the drain fixed, I put those bricks and a few others that are fragmented on the other side, down.

Since rain is a possibility tomorrow -- and maybe severe -- I'm going to put plastic across the pit. I don't want it to get too soaked before I can get back to it.

We have water pressure again, but we're still under a boil order. And last night, just before 11, the POWER WENT OUT AGAIN. Ameren had it back up in about 2 hours. This is no time to be without power, that's for sure.

So, here's hoping that the next few days I can avoid overheating, flooding, and blackouts. (This is starting to read like a Biblical list of plagues!)

Welcome to July in the Midwest ...

Dear Sidewalk

Dear Sidewalk,

Why did you have to be so difficult? Why couldn’t you have made it easy on both of us and just gone quietly? It was time to go, really it was. You were worn and cracked and making the new brick porch look bad. So why all the hassle?

I know you thought you could stay forever. Sometimes, I thought you would stay forever, stubborn as you were. I almost gave in. Almost. But, you probably didn’t know this about me: I’m a stubborn summab*tch, too. I kept coming back. The difference was I just kept bringing more tools until finally, I brought enough.

You were a worthy adversary, Sidewalk. You challenged me physically, mentally, and spiritually. Near 100-degree heat is not the day to take you on, but Mother Nature was clearly trying to protect you. She gave me rain to keep me from you and skyrocketing temperatures to dissuade me. I’ll admit, you did beat the crap out of me. But you did not break me. (Except for, well, maybe my hands, knees and wrists. But they’ll all be fine eventually.)

And while my Plan B didn’t work as I’d envisioned, your resolve slowly broke. You started giving up in bigger chunks, leaving less mess.

I know you’ve been here for nearly 70 years. My hat’s off to your amazing staying power. I respect your stamina and your strength. You took many opportunities to remind me of this, particularly when you forced me off balance and slammed me onto my tailbone or backside a few times. But, I’ll bet you didn’t think I’d get up. Oh, you were so wrong!

You see, I’ve got a stubborn streak a mile wide. Normally, it is not considered a virtue. In your case though, it was among my greatest assets.

I want to thank you for helping to tone my upper body. Beating you down and then picking you up has given me definition this body hasn’t seen since my 20s. I owe you for that. And your demise has elicited several unsolicited compliments from passersby who can’t help but ask what I’m doing next. Like the guy walking back from the library. The mailman. The girl walking her dog. That’s all encouraging.

So now you lay at the back of the property line, awaiting your next adventure. We kind of like you there. Perhaps you won’t leave after all. Maybe you’ll become a fountain, a small wall, or a flagstone-like path in the backyard.

It might be nice to keep you here after all. But, whether you stay or go is immaterial right now. The important thing is that you are now out of my way. Game off. I win!

Water: A Tale of Two Scenarios

I live a little leery of July 19. Two years ago tonight, I was at Busch Stadium with a colleague and a client. We had the company's field box seats for the event and I was psyched. It was the stadium's inaugural season and this was my second visit in as many nights. (I'd spent the first night in a luxury box. THAT was hard to take.)

It was as hot then as it was today. High humidity. Miserable. I packed lots of cold water, cool rags. We were overheated by the time we hit the stadium so we got dinner and a cold drink. While we were in line, the gray sky that had been overtaking the stadium started to go completely black. Torrential rain, powerful winds leveled buildings, flooded streets and threw around debris. The storm that blew in wreaked havoc on my neighborhood -- and on This D*mn House -- and left us without power for a week. (These are pictures of some of the damage to the house and the tangle of wires at the end of our alley. When a second storm blew through on July 21, those wires and trees came down on that car, with the neighbor inside! Luckily, she wasn't hurt.)

I thought about that all day as I worked outside in the heat. The three things on my mind: Getting a hot shower, a good meal, and relaxing in the cool.

I was wrapping up my day when our neighbors were getting in their car. "Sure a shame that you're not going to clean after being out here all day," she said.

I was afraid to ask what she meant, but mom beat me to it. "Why not?"

"We don't have any water. There's barely a trickle coming out." My heart fell. Turns out somebody hit and broke a water main earlier in the day.

We'd both noticed that the water pressure was off earlier, but that happens in the summer sometimes. Especially on a day like today. (At 95 degrees.) But I couldn't have imagined this.

But luck smiled on me. There was a minor trickle that seemed to strengthen a bit in the shower mode. It was enough to get clean. I was ecstatic. It took a while and took some effort, but I was able to scrub clean.

So now, I'm enjoying a Blizzard and preparing to take some pills, including a muscle relaxer. Luckily, I have plenty of bottled water in the house so we'll make it through the boil order.

Good thing. Tomorrow is going to be even hotter. Please ... NO STORMS!

Tip-Toe Through the Tool Aisle

OK. I have officially dispelled the myth that I am a power tool junkie. I'm just a plain ole tool junkie! No cord or battery required.

Case in point: I just stood awestruck staring at a 48-inch pipe wrench. Why would I ever need a 48-inch pipe wrench. Well, I'm hoping to go the rest of my life not needing one. But that's not the point. The point: It's huge. It's to be respected. It captured my attention. And, if I ever did need one ... I could get it at Harbor Freight.

That's right. I was there earlier, not long after they opened. The only woman in the store, save Monique, the young, black cashier. Very nice girl. Working her way through nursing school and introduced a few years ago to home ownership. She seemed surprised to see me amid the die-hard car enthusiasts, some of whom were probably waiting for the doors to open, and the other Weekend Warriors, all male.

When I told her what I was doing, she shook her head. "WOW! I need to learn to do more stuff myself." I offered a little advice. She asked a few questions.

A future houseblogger, maybe?

I planned the trip yesterday. I thought I'd bought a tamper when I created my stone patio a few years back, but, apparently not. So, I needed one of those. And I hoped to get a longer prybar to help try out the alternate plan for ridding myself of the sidewalk.

So, for $30, I got both of those things, a box of 100 thick latex gloves, a roll of nylon rope, and a four-piece gardening handtool set for the mother.

It's been raining again. Just a string of brief showers, but enough to soak everything down. I'm giving it a bit to dry out and hoping that the last little cluster I see on the dopplar is it for the day. I've got work to do!

Bye, Bye Starbucks

I’m very glad that I’m not a big fan of Starbucks’ coffee and that I feed my caffeine addiction in other ways. Our local store is on the list of casualties announced by the company that is shuttering more than 600 locations during the next six months or so. About 16 stores total in the St. Louis metro will close.

Call me a heathen (or worse), but the French vanilla cappuccino of the Quik Trip or 7-Eleven set just tastes better to me, and at a price I find a lot more palatable, too. But I do like some of Starbucks’ breads and pastries, so I will miss occasionally grabbing a few of those. And I feel sorry for those soon-to-be jobless baristas, something like 12,000 of them! I genuinely hate to see folks lose their jobs for anything other than unbelievably poor personal, not company, performance.

From the beginning, I didn’t think our community could support its own Starbucks. But it survived longer (opening in early 2006) and drew more of a crowd than I thought it would. There always seems to be a pretty steady stream of customers there, even after the temps started heating up back in May.

So, in tribute, perhaps I will go by there tonight. Mayhaps they’ll have something good to start the day with tomorrow …

A Magical Visit to HardwareLand

It’s Friday. There will no doubt be lots of banter at some point today about everyone’s weekend plans. Barbecues. Pool parties. Out-of-town guests. Baseball games.

But me, I’ll have none of it. The mother is meeting me at the station tonight and we’ll head off to HardwareLand, that magical place that empties your wallet, loads your car, and hijacks your agenda for most of the year. How can you possibly compete with that, you say? I’ll give you a pointer. You, too, can visit HardwareLand at a discount, courtesy of One Project Closer.

A few weeks ago, I discovered their post on a Lowe’s project starter coupon which is good for $10 off a $25 purchase when you use your Visa card. The catch: It expires July 31. So print your coupon, plan your project, and save a few bucks in the process.

As for me, I’ll be buying the rest of the landscaping forms for the walkway, more gravel, and more mortar because my plan is to actually get the concrete removed tomorrow. I think my alternate plan will work now that the biggest piece is out already. (Emphasis on the word think.)

If it doesn’t, it’s going to be a loooooong weekend to be sure.

FUBAR: When It Absolutely Has to Be Destroyed

I can’t believe I’ve been an “official” houseblogger for nearly two months and I’m just now discovering Charles & Hudson. With shame, I admit that.

To steal a phrase, “They had me at hello.” It wasn’t enough that they linked to This D*mn House earlier this week. Oh no. Previously, they happened to have written about the best li'l tools to have when you want to tear the hell out of something! Or, the "Top Five Tools Of Mass Destruction," as they have dubbed them. Their list leads off with something I'm waaaay familiar with: a 14-pound sledgehammer. There's been some serious demo going on around here, as you know.

The article also points out a tool I think I have to own: the Stanley FuBar Utility Bar. (Gotta love a tool that has its own freakin’ Web site.) I’m thinking that the FUBAR would live up to its name. So, I guess I have to find out if Amazon has one of these, now that they have sent me yet another tool-related email …

Amazon, You’re Killin’ Me

There aren’t many things that draw my attention like a moth to a flame. Pens come to mind. I’ve got hundreds of them. This is not an exaggeration. Ask my mother. (I’d buy a Mont Blanc if only Jonny Depp came with it.) I can’t walk by a pen display anywhere without at least looking. I think it might be a sickness.

Clothes – not so much. Occasionally, I’ll see something I just have to have but it’s rare. Shoes – pretty much the same story. (Well, there were those cute sandals last weekend ...) Sorry, Carole. I didn’t get the clotheshorse gene, much to her dismay. But somehow, I did seem to get an overabundance of the power tool gene. I’m a regular freak of nature, I am.

I can spend hours in Sears Hardware and get lost in a Harbor Freight store. So that’s why when Amazon recently sent me an email touting their latest power tool sale, I purposely avoided opening it. I’m not really in the market for anything right now, but once I start looking, you just never know. It's serious danger, Will Robinson. It's the equivalent of putting a loaded crack pipe down in front of a junkie.

I tried to get a fix by cruising and admiring tools at Lowe's last night. (I bought the first round of gravel and the metal edging for the walkway. ) I thought that reading a few boxes, parking my palms around some power would be sufficient. It wasn't.

I finally broke down and opened the email. In under a minute, I had a few things on my wish list. I looked at a Black and Decker cordless drill (something I don’t really need but would be nice to have) … or maybe I’d prefer something a little more powerful like a DeWalt. In any case, I don’t need either of them really. I checked out an assortment of handtools, some of which I do need. (I'm currently using an almost 30-year-old hammer, for instance.)

Then there was this fantastic little power cutter, “ideal for wallpaper.” Hmm ... there are two bedrooms waiting to be done.

Someone please stop me before I kill.

How To Save a Life

I don’t feel old enough to have friends stricken by life-threatening situations. I should know all too well that it’s possible. I should know that sometimes they don’t recover from them as earlier this year, a former colleague of mine (from my newspaper days) died at age 46 – not that many years ahead of me.

So it was with a great deal of shock that I read an email earlier this week from another friend and former colleague relating a near-death episode involving yet another friend and former colleague. (And this one happens to be a few months younger than me.) Luckily, this story has a happier ending.

According to Melanie, John will be on his way home soon. He’s been hospitalized the past several days after being felled by a blood clot blocking flow to his lungs. It’s treatable and he’s responding to meds. Fortunately, John has some medical training so he was able to save his own life by grabbing some oxygen and immediately summoning help! And, daredevil that he is, he got a helicopter ride from one hospital to another, so he’s pleased about that. I’m sure that he’s equally pleased by baffling the doctors with such a case for an otherwise healthy guy in his 40s.

I’m both happy and relieved. How could I not be? The world retains a smart, funny, and talented guy whom I’m happy to count among my friends. But, the whole incident made me wonder how many of us figure that – by virtue of our age – we’re immune to that sudden life-threatening situation like a blood clot, a heart attack or even a stroke? So please, do me a favor. Do yourself a favor. Check out these signs and symptoms for cardiac arrest and stroke from the American Heart Association and this explanation of blood clots. Know what it is. Know what to do if it happens. And do it.

It could save a friend’s life. It could save a family member’s life.

It could save your life.

Some Quick Stats

The Fence
Number of Days 'Til the New Fence Goes Up: 7 (including today)
Percent of Rain Chance Forecast for July 23: 10
Number of Panels Going Up: 8
Number of Poles Going Up: 10
Percent Chance That Lawrence Will Be Well Enough to Proceed: 95

The Walkway
Percent of Rain Chance Forecast for This Weekend: 20 on Saturday, 10 on Sunday
Chance That It Will Rain Both Days Anyway: 70 percent
Number of Concrete Slabs Left to Remove: 5
Chance That I'll Pay Someone $600 to Do It: 0 percent
Chance That I'll Finish the Porch This Weekend: 95 percent
Chance That I'll Ever Finish the Walkway: 50 percent
Chance That I'll Ride the New Cart Before Putting Supplies on It: 100 percent

Be Our Guest (Blogger)

With all of the accolades of last week came an offer from Todd Fratzel to provide a guest blog. Well, that's just too generous and too good of an offer to refuse. So today, this little blog gets a guest blogger gig on a big blog. Now how cool is that?!

I'm no expert by any means, so I thought it best to share something I know at least a little bit about: laminate flooring. Todd liked that idea and as a result you get this article. The pictures with the article are my living room/dining room and show off my flooring project of last year.

Outside a few typos, it's pretty heady stuff for me. And there's a lot more I could tell you about laminate, so if you have questions, I'll be happy to try and answer them.

I hope you'll check it out so that Todd's kind offer wasn't wasted on me.

Ah La Cart!

I had no plans last night. I volleyed with the idea of doing laundry but then ate dinner and sat on my butt instead. Then I started going through the mail and thumbing through the Ace Hardware ad. On the back page was a foldable cart. It has a 300-pound capacity.

Hmmm. Wouldn’t require a lot of storage space. Cost $19.95 (after $5 mail-in rebate). It's designed to help get all junior's stuff moved into the college dorm. Not at This D*mn House! Could be used to haul a whole lot of stuff up and down the driveway. (Containers of mortar, sand, brick.) I passed the ad to the mother, making that point. She glances and nods affirmatively. “But they fold that place up at six o’clock, don’t they?” Mom asks.

They used to, but I had noticed in recent months that they were staying open a little later now. Clock on the TV: 7:37 p.m. Store hours on the ad: 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Should I try to go now? “Go for it,” says the mother, and tosses me a twenty. What a good mother! (BTW, this is the store just across the way from where that alleged murderer was captured recently.)

Humming the Mission Impossible theme, I grabbed my wallet and keys, threw on shoes, flew out the door and gunned the ‘Bird out of the driveway and toward town. Time in Ace Hardware parking lot: 7:44 p.m. (This included a stop sign and two stoplights en route.)

The salesgirl led me right to the display of the carts. There were three left. “Oh, I’ll get it,” she says, and grabs the straps on the box and hefts it up to the counter. As I wait for my change she asks, “Do you need some help out with that?” That made me belly laugh. Me. The Hulkess who has been winging around 60- and 80-pounds bags of mortar for weeks now. Me, idiot that I am, who pounds through six-inch-plus concrete slabs with hand tools. (The box is longish and awkward but weighs just a little more than a standard pail of cat litter and a little less than a case of water. ) “Uh, no, but thanks,” says I, grabbing up my purchase and heading for the door.

As I’m going out, a guy is coming in. I step aside so he can get in as he doesn’t show any sign of holding the door. (I welcome chivalry, but don’t expect it.) I am spinning around so my backside can push open the door when all of a sudden, the guy suddenly backs up and opens it. (I think the salesgirl gave him a dirty look.) Because I’m leaning slightly backwards, I nearly go hurtling through the door but caught myself in time. I guess the awkward step caught the attention of a guy driving a forklift in front of the store. “Need some help with that, ma’am?” he yells to me.

“Nope, I got it. Thanks.” But do you want to come and bust up some concrete?

(P.S.: The cart is great. All you have to do is attach the wheels. Just make sure you put the swivels on under the handle. I put one on wrong before I realized that not all four wheels swivel. It’s about 10 inches or so thick when you fold the handle down, and it’s maybe 30” by 20,” so very easy to store. But I don’t plan to store it anytime soon. It will be ferrying stuff up and down the driveway ‘til the PROJECT ends. If I don't turn it into a scooter. I couldn't resist the urge to try it on the smooth DR floor. Can't wait to try the driveway!)

Strange Change

On days when my brain power is particularly low -- or when the AC in the building is cranked particularly high and I'm freezing -- I stop in the convenience store downstairs for a cappuccino. (One-third the cost of the Starbucks down the street and twice as good, I think.)

So one day last week, I think it was a combo of low brain power and high AC that sent me downstairs mid-morning. As I headed back toward the elevator, I glanced at the change in my fist. I noticed an odd silver coin that, initially, I thought might be Canadian. (For some reason, we get a LOT of Canadian change through here and I'm NOWHERE near the border! It seems to circulate just like American money.)

I thought that I'd received it instead of my dime. But no. There was a dime. Well, then I'd gotten it instead of one of the pennies. But no again. All the pennies -- as well as a nickel and a quarter -- were there, too. I'm not sure how or why then I ended up with it. But I marveled at it because 1) It's Jamaican and 2) It's a dollar.

It's about the same size as an American dime but with the thickness of a nickel -- and the shape of a heptagon. And, its value: almost 14 cents American. Judging from all the not so good financial news late in the day today, it may actually be worth as much -- or more -- than an American dollar.

An Alternate Plan

I've decided that I'm going to entertain some bids for demoing the remainder of the sidewalk.

However, rockhead that I am (pun intended), I've convinced myself to develop yet another alternative. (Yeah, you knew I was too stubborn for it to be that easy to just walk away, right?) Since a) this was the first of the blocks and b) it was semi-anchored to the porch and c) I now know what thickness is involved and d) it was also the biggest of the slabs, I might be able to get the remaining slabs up whole.

At any rate, my plan is to try to this week. (NOT tonight. I'm doing good today to move around though I'm not in as bad of shape as I'd feared. The sunburn actually hurts worse than my muscles!)

If it works, or almost works, great. There's my next step. If not, hand it over to some burly dudes.

Back on the Chain Gang

Years ago, when they sentenced people to life at hard labor, they didn't do the sh*t I have today! Ambition aside, I'm exhausted.

I got most of my list done. I scrubbed cat boxes. I mowed. I hauled a trunkful of clippings to the dump. I even got the first piece of the concrete slab busted up.

I didn't get the monster root out nor did I finish my porch. Why? Because I clearly underestimated the thickness of the concrete walkway. I was expecting 3 inches deep tops. Try 6 inches at least! And breaking it up with a sledge and a pick-ax ... well, it was slow, tedious, and painful. The only thing different from being on a chaingang was the lack of anyone being shackled to my leg.

It was the biggest piece though, but it was also only the first one. I'm seriously thinking I need to see how much it would be to have someone come and finish and haul this crap away. There doesn't seem to be a word adequate enough to describe the exquisite pain my hands and wrists are in. (Agony comes to mind, however.)

I'm sunburned. I'm sore. I'm tired. But I had a long shower, ate my 54th Street leftovers, and am watching Meet Me In St. Louis. (Love this movie!) So, it all evens out I guess.

How Ambitious Am I?

During our second year at This D*mn House, the old widow lady on one side (we were bounded by them when we moved in) moved into a nursing home and a funny old couple moved in. Mr. M. would ALWAYS greet me whenever he saw me working outside with, "My, you're ambitious!" And I would laugh and sometimes tell him, "No. Just stupid with a touch of crazy."

Sadly, the Ms have both long since died, but I feel a little of that sentiment today. It is GLORIOUS outside. Sunny. 70s. Light breeze. I just unloaded my latest brick purchase and am going uptown to grab a few items before I delve into my day. My day, which includes the following list: Empty and scour catboxes and associated tread pads. Mow lawn. Cut out monster root Dago left during fence removal. Take all clippings, plus two bags from Carole's weed adventures, to dump. Break up first and largest concrete slab in walkway. And finally, last, but certainly not least: FINISH THE FRIGGIN'PORCH.

I'm hearing Mr. M. about now ... Wish me luck!

I Hate R-A-I-N!

I beat Mother Nature at her own game today. I didn't even try to get anything done. Afternoon thunderstorms were in the forecast and I didn't want to chance getting started and being mid-project when they arrived. Especially since I need to mortar in my perimeter bricks and fill in the gaps with mortar.

She didn't disappoint. Ol' Mother kicked in showers just as I pulled into my driveway.

Instead, I spent the afternoon shopping with my mother. And, there was an especially silver lining in the cloud that impeded my progress. I ran into very dear friend CD at Wal-Mart. She had her two boys and her parents in tow! It was great to visit with C, see her mom again, and marvel at how those boys are growing. Absolutely incredible. Her eldest is off to camp next week and "the baby" will start kindergarten next month. Wow.

So, in about three and half hours, we went to Wal-Mart, spent a few minutes visiting, strolled through Kohl's (bought cute sandals I can wear to work), dashed through two grocery stores, went to Lowe's and bought 100 more bricks and a new exhaust fan for the bathroom (and used the last of my $10 coupons), picked up dinner at 54th Street Grill and got back home.

Tomorrow is supposed to be gorgeous with a high of 84 degrees. That means mowing the lawn, and, ideally, FINISHING THE PORCH and starting the walkway. I guess we'll see how it goes.

A Little Humor, DIY Style

It was a pretty good day at work. It’s Friday. The sun is shining (for now, anyway). And I’ve been a little on the giddy side for much of the afternoon. Not sure what the reason, but it’s a welcome feeling just the same. For the record, alcohol was not involved!

On that note, I thought it appropriate to break out some light-hearted DIY material.
***
Some time ago, I ran across this You Tube video of Weird Al doing a song called “I’ll Repair For You.” It’s a parody of the Friends’ theme song performed by The Rembrandts. The lyrics are hilarious and sound like a day around This D*mn House!
***
Long before I started the blog, I got an email with these photos in it on the hazards of hauling. As luck would have it, they’re making the rounds again! As many times as we have hauled tons of stuff home – and still do – in the Thunderbird, I had to smile. But even I wouldn’t try this. Elaine, please don’t let your husband talk you into this one!
***
Earlier this year, before I even revived the blog, I was talking to a friend about the movie Baby Boom with Diane Keaton. (Very cute movie.) Somehow, we also started talking about Under the Tuscan Sun with Diane Lane. As the conversation wound down, my friend made a very keen observation: “You realize,” she said, “That you relate to those movies because they’re both about single women and both have a house project as a major subplot.” Oh. Yeah. I knew that. *disguising shock with smugness*

For weeks after that, I tried to think of other movies that have building a house or remodeling a house as a key theme. Most are comedies. This is what I came up with:

The Money Pit
Are We Done Yet?
Life As a House
Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House
Please Don’t Eat the Daisies
Father of the Bride Part II

(Technically, the first two of these are based on Mr. Blandings … Can you think of others? Feels like I’m missing something obvious.)

Kudos to the Blog, Part 2

I decided that there was just too much to be shared in a single post, so I split the award honorees up. Please display your E and honor 10 other blogs! (Or, at least honor SOMEBODY!) Having said that, let's move on to my Es:
Not So SAHM -- Vicki is spending her first week in the South after packing up and moving from the Midwest, with two small girls and two cats in tow. And she's blogging. Regularly. There almost should be some kind of medal for that. Vicki's two girls -- and baby Ashlyn in particular -- usually get me laughing as she shares her adventures as mom/business owner.
Whimfield -- Another of our neighbors north of the border. Laura-Jane's garden photos make me wish I had a green thumb. And, she is slowwwwly transforming Cameron into a tool junkie. Folks after my own heart!
Stealth Geeks Obsess -- The septic system saga, spurring poop on a stick, has been both sad and hilarious. And with six kids running around … OH! And it's a blog by three gals and their mom, with a hobby. (A hobby not related to poop on a stick.) What's not to like?
House on Red Hill -- First of all, anyone whose handle is Why … And one of my favorite recent things? The photo dubbed "Deck Chairs with Shop Vac." It's SO very DIYer with its subject AND in its environment. And it really made me laugh.
Dogs and Jen -- Jen's saga of the Cabinet Guy is reason enough for an honor. She's smart, witty, and resourceful, too. After CG and an ant invasion, figured she could use a happy post!
Tiny Old House -- Jennifer's battle to get back to the bricks has been intriguing. It's heartening to watch this little place get so much love and TLC. And now, she's trusting all of us to pick accent colors.
Foxcroft -- Love to watch Mike's progress and I really enjoy the history behind the house which he frequently highlights in a then and now fashion. But since history is part of his job, I guess it's a natural.
Stucco House -- I seem to be on some kind of a parallel with StuccoHouse. She's fixing sidewalks. I'm destroying them. She's salvaging trees. I'm pulling 'em out. My favorite thing of late: the detailed restoration of the ancient Tappan. COOL!
A Cotterpin House -- D not only keeps a great blog but the PHOTOS …Artistic and talented. You gotta love it. And holds the same view I do on to-do lists where the house is concerned. DON'T do them!
St. Louis Folk Victorian -- And last, but certainly not least, I had to get someone in a little closer to home. It's Kristy who not only is restoring her home, but has the time and energy to quilt and garden, too. Ah, youth!!!

And, during the past few weeks the blog has had visitors from all over the world. From Australia to Zimbabwe (OK not Zimbabwe, but both Botswana and Tanzania) we've had visitors stopping by. Multiple parts of England, Italy, Greece, France, Japan, South America, Bahrain, Israel, even Russia -- all represented in the visitor logs! And that's just SOME of the countries! Some of these folks have even come back. I'm both flattered and honored .

Kudos to the Blog

OK, so this little blogger is gonna get a big head pretty soon. The blog's been racking up some honors and interest from all over the world. I've just been too busy to stop and pat it on the back! Not to mention to appropriately thank our kind bestowers.

About a week ago, Vicki at Not So SAHM awarded This D*mn House an Arte y Pico award. It requires a little bit of preparation and thought to accept. (Hence my delayed acceptance.)

First, you have to pick five blogs that you consider deserving of this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and contribution to the blogging community, no matter what language they appear in. Each award has to have the name of the author and a link to his/her blog. Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that presented her/him with the award.

Both the award winner and recipients have to display a link to the “Arte y Pico” blog so everyone will know the origin of this award. And, you need to show these rules.

Then, this week, Liz at A Constructed Life sent an E! our way, citing this as an excellent blog. Part of earning an E is having to share 10 sites that you think deserve an E of their own.

And now, having 15 blogs total to honor, I need to get going before they've all already been honored, huh? Note please, this is not as easy as it sounds considering that I am now reading at least three times as many blogs as I'm honoring. I also figure that some of you have to be left off my list so that others have someone to honor! :-) And the only reason you don't see KayO on the list is because, well, I don't want her to get tangled up in rules and "supposed tos" though she's an honoree in my book anyway. So, without further ado, in no particular order, the Arte y Picos go to:

Ann at Velvet Lava -- Someday, we have got to hang out together. Ann has two Yorkies and a Web site dedicated to not only to-die-for desserts, but short trips into the obscure, topped with sometimes passionate rants of a woman in the Southwest. Brains, beauty, and a vocabulary. And the pictures … 'nuf said.
Elaine at Bless This DIY Mess -- The stories of haulin' stuff home, the Catholic school background, and the creative ways of approaching each project have put us into the same siztheren. (Like brethren but sistern sounded too much like a well.)
Jayne at Dainty Digs -- Dispatcher by day, DIYer by night … nope, that's backwards. Love watching Jayne's progress on uncovering -- literally -- the original beauty of her Midwest home.
Old Stone House -- Why would we neglect our northerly neighbors? The rules don’t say I can't go to Canada. And this is a trip I can make passport-free. (Thoroughly enjoy the stories and I secretly envy the blog design. Still crossing my fingers for a sale so you can move onto your next adventure.)
Ben at D.C. Rowhouse -- In short, Ben (who's a she BTW) just cracks me up. Triumphs and tragedy and now adorable Penny thrown in the mix. Any DIY blog that has an injury tally box at the bottom … need I say more?

Thank you again, Vicki and Liz! (More to come including the E awards. Stay tuned.)

They Put the “Hard” in Hardware

If you have an older home, or just like older accents, you’re probably familiar with VanDyke’s Restorers. We’ve bought a variety of stuff from them over the years. Most recently, I bought some spandrels from them to make some shelves and have been on their mailing list again ever since.

Their catalogs, in fact, have prompted Carole on to the next project. (Not that she needs much prompting. My mother has never been the sort of person to do just one or two things at a time, finish those, and go on to the next. No. Let’s do 80 simultaneously instead. Long-term chaos is so much more preferable. Don’t misunderstand. It all gets done and turns out in the end. We just have very polar work approaches. But I digress).

She has already planned what she wants to do for the kitchen and bathroom. (As if outside and the two bedrooms weren’t enough for this year.) Enter the VanDyke catalog.

I’ll admit, they have a good sale going on right now for the cabinet hardware and the plumbing fixtures she wants, so I’ll cut her some major slack. (That’s the new kitchen fixtures she has picked out in the photo.) The big box places want twice as much and then some. And you know me. It’s online shopping. It’s sale prices. I’m there. That’s where the problem comes in.

I guess I’m spoiled. In today’s technology-driven world, I think of a catalog as a “companion piece” for a shopper. Simply a marketing tool to drive traffic to a Web site. Do tons of people really even use the enclosed order forms anymore? Do throngs flock to the 800-number except when they have trouble with the Web site? I don’t think so. I think they’re like me. They look at the catalog. But when the sale is made, it’s done online. Because if you want to buy fixtures at midnight, that’s the way to do it.

That’s why you’d think that their Web site would make this a seamless process. But it doesn’t. In fact, when I keyed in the product codes from the catalog, the search engine found nothing. Nada. Zip. Bupkiss. Zilch. Zero. Silly me. How dare I expect this to be easy? Same thing on two of the three product descriptions. Only through diligence (read: pissed off determination) did I find the items online that I wanted to buy. Or at least, I hope they’re the right ones. I can’t be sure.

Since hello! Once I actually found the items, they had a product number completely different from the catalog, even though the pictures, item description, and prices were the same. Awesome. Let’s confuse the process just a little more.

I guess that’s why they call it “hard”ware.

When You're Good As Your Word

You've got to love a man who does what he says he is going to do. And my grandfather used to always say that you only are as good as your word. Well, that is my cousin Joe "Dago" to a tee! (My high school sistahs will remember him because most of them had a crush on him, the dashing high school football star.)

He promised me that either yesterday or today my old fence would be gone. He was better than his word. It's outta here. Do ya think we need a new one? (I snapped these two pics yesterday for posterity's sake, in full faith that Dago would come through.)

Speaking of new fence, that's it there on the pallet with its posts in the driveway, just waiting. Just a few more weeks.

A kiss and a big, huge hug to you, Dago. I owe you some beers one night real soon.

Stragglers

I return to work today and my butt is draggin' BIG TIME.

One thing I did finally get to do was go through my fireworks shots. I found a few others that I thought worthy of posting, so I'll share those now.

Hope you enjoy them, too!

May I Please Present ...

My porch! I know I've been promising photos of the porch forever, but I'm proud to report that, as of earlier this evening, the porch is COVERED! I still have the perimeter bricks to complete, but all walking surfaces are covered!

I never could imagine actually having it all done.

We got a massive rainstorm earlier and I'm hoping that it had set enough to have not been washed out of place. I guess I'll find out in the morning.

I can't look at this without smiling ...

Arrivals & Departures

Home Depot delivered the posts and fence shortly after 9 a.m. They did call first, but they told me at the store it would probably be closer to mid-day. Uh-huh.

I wasn't sure how they'd deliver it. The driver had a forklift on the back of the truck and brought it off the back and drove it through my driveway. So, I now have a pallet of vinyl fencing and post laying in the driveway. Until July 23. Ideally.

Rain came and left this morning. A few schizophrenic showers and then a brief downpour and then that's it until tonight and tomorrow. But hey, that's OK because I go back to work tomorrow.

My cousin didn't make it today to tear out the old fence, so I'm bettin' that it will be gone when I get home tomorrow. You're outta here!!! It's so wild to have this much stuff goin' on and actually getting done.

The crazy man made another appearance today, this time approaching the mother. He told her he would "be back to put up that fence" but "he had to go to court right now." She didn't know initially that it was him or God only knows. He gets a single warning if and when he returns. After that, he can tell it to the police.

I wonder if there's a surgery to have a maniac magnet removed because, clearly, I have one. And, at the rate that scrap metal is going for ...

DQ Is Open 'Til 10:30

It was hot today. (OK, for those of you in the southwest, I know the 90s might sound appealing. But here in the Midwest, 94 degrees, coupled with wring-out-your-clothes-as-soon-as-you-open-the-door humidity, is awful.)

And I was out in it for about 10 hours today. I did take breaks, and I did spend a lot of time in the shade, once it reached the porch. (I'm happy to report that major progress was made on the porch. I'll have pictures tomorrow.)

I spoke to both Lawrence and my cousin earlier this evening and there's good news and bad news to report. The bad news: Lawrence had a hand injury a week or so ago and won't get stitches out until next week. He says he's OK though and he was actually excited that I bought a fence. As a result, we've tentatively set a date for the fence of July 23.

The good news: My cousin is coming either tomorrow or Wednesday to take down the old fence. Even better news: After I bust up the concrete, he will haul it away. Talk about a load off my mind!

But probably the best news of all: Dairy Queen is open 'til 10:30. (This, after finally getting a shower after being out in the heat all day.) Gimme a blizzard, baby!

Because I Can

After all the activity of the weekend, a restless cat overnight, and preparing for trash day this morning, I'm still exhausted.

Looks like we have at least a chance for a thunderstorm later today, but since the area of the porch I'm working on now is largely covered, I'm not too concerned. I'll get out there a little later. Right now, I think I'm going to take a nap. (Hey, there have to be some benefits to being on vacation, right?)

When I get up, I have a car to unload (ugh) and some phone calls to make. Here's hoping I reach the dudes of the day to make some moves on the fencing project. In the meantime, I'm going to follow Ozzie's lead (he's twitching beside me, on his back, with his back feet against the sofa back and his front feet straight in the air.)

Why? Because I can.

Ding, Dong The Shrubs Are Gone!!!

All I can say is WHAT a day! The only downside, no porch progress.

Most Excellent Friend Chele and Most Excellent Hubby Doug came in his truck before noon today and quickly vanquished the vicious vegetation that was our shrubs. The one that was planted last year to replace one that died is still here, as are the two smaller and more manageable of the shrubs. But the three monsters ... GONE!

I can't say thank-you enough. The absence of Hell's Shrubbery truly is a godsend.

After I came home from the dump, where they were kind enough to go and dispose of the evil trees, I finished digging out what roots remained and began filling in the gaping holes. It was blistering hot in the sun and by the time I'd finished, I was beat. Instead of calling it a day, we went to Home Depot and Lowe's.

At HD, I bought the fence. It is supposed to be delivered Tuesday. (Perfect, since I'll still be home on vacation.) Now, I have to get a hold of Lawrence, and call my cousin to remove the old fence. Things are happening -- and at a rapid pace, too! Makes my head spin.

At Lowe's, I bought some more mortar and 100 more bricks. I got to use my $10 off coupon AND even received another one, still good 'til the 14th. So, savings abound! They had quite a few bricks, and they were kind enough to put the pallet in the floor for me to pick through. Tonight, I even let them load them into the car, something I usually do myself.

That said, now home and having had dinner -- and not unloaded the car, I'm somewhere between exhausted and dead. But, unless they have changed the forecast, it will be dry tomorrow, so maybe I can make up for what I didn't do today. But it really was a good day with a mad dash of activity. I'm grateful for everything that was accomplished and for all the wonderful people who helped make it so.

When Fantasy Becomes Reality

Get your mind outta the gutter. It's Sunday, and it's not an x-rated blog!

I was moving slow all day Saturday. It took a lot to get me going and a lot to keep me going. Somehow, I think today is going to be even tougher. I didn’t take my planned day off on Friday and I stayed up late to boot, so I didn’t get off to the greatest start.

It seems like half the neighborhood came over to look at the porch. That was very gratifying, interrupting, but gratifying. People I knew – and some I didn’t – were going by and pointing or waving. Now that they can see what I'm doing, maybe I don't seem as nuts anymore. My neighbor says his porch "is next."

One of my bus drivers was working and she drove by and gave me a thumb’s up.
I can say that the first part of the porch is officially done. I mortared in everything I had down and put in a final piece on the transition step that will hold the mortar in place underneath the front door. And that, was that.

I only got a few additional rows on the second part of the porch done, but since it’s so much smaller than the first, it actually looks like progress. All of those rows also got mortared into place. (Pictures tonight. It was too dark by the time I wrapped up and the porch light throws everything off.)

The timing of the shrub removal is perfect. That will make it SO much easier to put the next round of perimeter bricks in. And, since I next go to the sidewalk project, better to have a truck going through the yard now rather than after the walkway is in progress, or worse yet, done.

I’m still just about giddy thinking about the prospect of those evil shrubs being gone. They have been here for about 20 years and my dealings with them during all that time have been nothing but miserable. I seriously have fantasized about having them plucked out.

Seriously. And now, it’s about to enter the realm of reality.

Pinch me.

Now maybe I can work on that Powerball fantasy ...

Hell's Shrubbery, Be Gone!

And so, my wish is to be granted! I am happy to report that after making an argument that rivals anything Clarence Darrow, F. Lee Bailey or Johnnie Cochran ever made, the shrubs are history!

Or they will be. Tomorrow.

Most Excellent Friend Chele volunteered hubby to remove Satan's shrubs. Being a most excellent husband, he agreed.

And while historically, the mother would never go for it, I made the case one more time. As a result, I am writing two things on the calendar. First, her admission that I am right about something. (The bushes are too overgrown and unruly. We need to start over.) and Two, I get my way. I want them gone -- and they are going. I'm still woozy with the shock of it.

Carole is still very reticent about uprooting these evil overgrowths. And, I admit, killing a living thing doesn't sit well with me either. But, at the same time, it's hard to conceal my glee. *happy dancing ensues* I HATE THOSE BUSHES! And soon they will be gone.

I rule.

(With some help from the greatest of friends.)

And the Rockets' Red Glare

It wasn't all work at This D*mn House yesterday.

Because I was making such good progress last night, it was hard to stop working on the porch. But after all afternoon, I was sore and tired. And besides, the fireworks display was just across town in a few hours. AND ... I had that new tripod to try out!

I chose a spot on a walkway outside an office building where there weren't as many people camped out. I parked the car about a 5-minute walk away hoping to avoid the traffic jam of last year. At first, I thought, I'd made a bad decision. But, once the fireworks started, I was pleased. They were comin' right at me!

I think the tripod worked GREAT. These are just a few of what I got. (Haven't spent much time yet going through all of them. I have that to look forward to.) And my strategy for departure? Worked like a charm. After skulking behind all the buildings, carefully navigating GIGANTIC craters, I was on the main drag in about five minutes.

Hope you had a fantastic holiday that continues through the weekend ...

The Porch: Part 1

Well, folks, don't try to adjust that screen -- the first part of the porch IS COVERED!!! It's not complete, but it IS completely covered. I even started on Part 2 late this afternoon. It was very exciting, after nearly three weeks of pretty consistent work.

I had planned to take the day off, but I'm glad I didn't. It was SO gorgeous out that I would only have been cursing myself for wasting such awesome weather. Mom even felt well enough to go outside and work. She had to pull weeds. (All this chaos here and the woman is obsessed with weeds. Lord, please let me never get to that point.)

It was less than 80, sunny, with an occasional breeze. An absolutely idyllic day for outside work. I am so grateful after all of the funky weather of late. (Including downpours which soaked me to the skin while trying to get home yesterday.I even had to wring out my unders!)

Tomorrow, I will get as far as I can on the second part of the porch (hopefully that is done) and then I will mortar it and the last part of Part One. Then it's onto the sidewalk ...

Happy Birthday, America!

I'm not a flag-waver. I do have a T-shirt and a button that say "God Bless America." Both were given to me in the wake of 9-11. But today, I'm as big a patriot as anybody.

I showed the ultimate act of patriotism last night by going out and injecting a nice chunk of change into the economy. I bought groceries, household supplies, and take-out at The 54th Street Grill. And, of course, I went to Lowe's and bought more mortar. My DIY dedication was rewarded with a $10 off $50 at Lowe's that expires mid-month. I LOVE that!

These pictures are from our local fireworks display last year. It was part of my first attempt to shoot fireworks, having had my new digital camera a few months at that time. (If you look in the bottom right corner of the one photo, you'll see that Mother Nature was contributing her own fireworks, too. Adore that shot!)

I'm going to give it another try tonight. In fact, during my patriotic distribution of cash last night, I even purchased an impromptu early birthday gift to me: a tripod. It wasn't expensive, it weighs a pound, is 9 inches totally folded, and it extends to 42 inches. I'm hoping it will help me get even better shots this year. I have to develop a strategy though for parking the car. It took 40 minutes to get out of the traffic last year, and this is NOT a major municipality!

But first, Mother Nature has given me a gorgeous day. So, instead of sitting on my butt as I'd planned (when it was going to rain), I'm going to hit the bricks. I'll be contributing to the noise of the holiday, not with the pops and bangs, but with a completely different take on mortar fire. NEEEEEEEENNNNNNNUHHHH.

Our New Fence?

Maybe.
The new Home Depot ad came out today and this stuff is going for about $56/panel. (That doesn't include the posts and fancy Gothic toppers.) Not a bad price though. Carole is on board for now -- 'til she changes her mind.

I need to see what Lawrence is doing next week, or maybe next weekend!

I drove to work today and had to stop for gas on the way home. It was a fortuitous stop, despite the more expensive gas. (I wanted to get gas in Missouri, but the station opposite the bridge was packed. Not worth the fight for a couple bucks.) I ran into my cousin. I'll probably hear all about it from one of my neighbors who saw me uptown kissing on a guy!

He had told me months ago that when the time came to tear down the old fence, he would gladly haul away the old one. Awesome. Something I wouldn't have to worry about after knocking it down.

I filed that offer away, fully planning to cash it in. Now, not only will my adorable, half-Italian cousin (whom we've always affectionately called "Dago") haul it away, he said he had planned all along to bring a backhoe and politely pluck each panel out of the ground and then loft it into a dump truck. Now that is an offer I just can't refuse.

God love ya, Dago.

Welcome Back, Netvibes!

No idea what was up with Netvibes yesterday, but it's back this morning, thank God. I didn't realize how dependent I'd become upon it for my initial news, blog reading, and of course, Twitter.

I know I promised pictures and I would have delivered because I actually did make progress last night. Mother Nature, however, was a rude cow and literally rained on my parade as I was wrapping up. I managed to safely shuttle all of my working gear into the shed before anything could get too wet, but I forgot to put bucket o'dirt under the carport. (It's now bucket o'mud.)

I gave my neighbors the night off from the NEEEEENUHHH whine of the RotoZip, opting instead to do one of the parts of the job I've been dreading: digging out the front edge. (My knees and back are feelin' it today as a result. BIG TIME!) I've dreaded it because the front is bounded by Hell's Shrubbery. For some reason, Carole has a thing for vicious vegetation. The more brambles and barbs it has, the more determined she seems to be to plant it in our yard. Love it! (Read: sarcasm x10). One of my fantasies is having a truck come and yank those suckers right out of the ground. (Yes, I lead a very exciting life. My fantasies even involve house projects.)

I'm almost to the edge that meets up with the nearly complete side edge. Both bricks will have to be cut to fit and it shouldn't take long to get all that in place. Then, I can actually put down the half-bricks that will complete the LAST ROW of the first half of the porch. I guess I shouldn't get too excited at that prospect. There's still a whole lot left to do.

The Fez and The Fuzz

Cardinal baseball caps aren’t the only head-toppers of red in downtown St. Louis this week. The Shriners are in town, so the fez is on a whole lotta heads. And they are everywhere!

I got a kick out of one guy today wearing bright red pants, floppy bright red tennis shoes, and orange and red-striped leggings, ala Pippi Longstocking. Apparently, clown minus the make-up.

I felt bad when I heard that some of their vehicles had been broken into and a few mini motorcycles stolen. (One was later returned.) It’s kind of like saying, “Hi. Welcome to St. Louis! Now we’re going to bust up your trucks and steal your stuff.” Damn kids. Leave other people’s things alone, O.K.?!

To make their visit even more interesting, an alleged mass murderer/spree killer/serial killer (he’s been branded all three in different reports) was supposedly seen outside Busch Stadium on Monday night. The subsequent news coverage of this report yesterday morning sent Carole into a tizzy on Tuesday.

She called me around lunch time in a panic. “You be careful.” Yeah. Like what am I gonna do?

They ended up capturing the guy last night. Turns out all Carole’s fears were for naught. He wasn’t even in downtown St. Louis anymore. He was just a few miles from This D*mn House!!!

I’m glad they got the guy before he could do any more harm. (Assuming, of course, that he is guilty of the crimes they’re attributing to him.) Where he was captured is between a strip mall – where my friendly Ace Hardware is – and a Kmart store, and just down from another strip mall – an entire area that is usually filled with people at just about all hours. Recipe for disaster.

Talk about freaky. That’s just a little too close for comfort.

Bane of the Neighborhood

The last full row is in place, though not yet mortared. I have started cutting the half bricks for the final row and I still have to dig out the front edge. Being done with the larger portion of the front porch is in the home stretch! (I'll take pictures tonight regardless of what isn't done.)

Still lovin’ the RotoZip even though 10 bricks later, I got a hand cramp. I do feel the need though to apologize to both the robins who gather at dusk to feast upon the lightning bugs and to my neighbors for the constant NNNEEEEEEENNNEEEENNNENUHHHHHHNEEEEEEENUHHHH that broke the relative peace of the evening. (Or at least at much peace as a four-lane roadway offers.)

My neighbor across the alley has an immaculate yard. She is ALWAYS out there doing something. ALWAYS. Tonight, she was watering. Many nights she sits outside either in a chair on the lawn or on her very quaint brick patio. She is far enough removed from the four lanes of traffic to have some peace. (Or as much peace as one can have living with an obnoxious teen daughter who produced a baby a few years back, and said baby, now a rambunctious, and adorable toddler.) Usually, she waves. Last night, she did not. She just looked disgusted.

My neighbor, with whom I share the vacant lot between us, hurriedly watered his tomatoes and left. He moved pretty quickly, too, a rarity for him.

So, they will really love me tonight when I resume working with the dronish tool. They’ll be relieved to know that, via Mother Nature’s intervention, they’ll likely get a break on Thursday and Friday.

But I'll be back. You'll no doubt hear me. NEEENEEEEENUHHHHHH.

Now I'm IT - You May Be Next!

In what's the equivalent of a blogger chain mail, I got "tagged" sometime back by Vicki at Not So SAHM to answer some questions in the interest of getting to know people a little better. I didn't forget. I just got a little preoccupied. And last night, I got tagged again by Jayne at Dainty Digs. (I'm so popular!) It was kind of a prompting to finish this and move it along. (I'm not a procrastinator or anything.) So, here goes:

What was I doing ten years ago? I was in my tenth year -- and about my seventh job -- working at the newspaper chain that hired me out of college. I was also job-hunting as I was getting sick of the hard work and having little to show for it come payday.

Five snacks I enjoy. (Just five?) The top one, especially this time of year, is Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia (I get the "light" kind made with yogurt as a compromise.) You might also catch me regularly munching Jelly Bellies, York peppermint patties, Honey BBQ Frito Twists, or Gardetto's Snack Mix (original).

Five things on my to do list. First, is pay some bills. Seems like I am always paying something. Then, I need to return and renew some library books (Just finished "Waiting for My Cats to Die" by Stacy Horn -- thank you, KayO -- and am starting "How to Be Good" by Nick Hornby.) I have a call at 9; and a meeting at 11 (or so my calendar tells me). Then, of course, there's brick work.

Five things I would do if I were a billionaire First, take care of friends and family (particularly getting my mother anything and everything she has ever wanted). Then, donate a lot to fight hunger, poverty, disease, and to promote education, animal causes-- just have a lot of fun helping others. Then, I'd buy a brand new Corvette. (I've wanted one since age 4.) I'd go back to college; and finally, I'd write that book -- from an exotic, far-away locale.

Five jobs I’ve had. My first job was delivering newspapers (age 10-13). Then, at 15, I worked as a receptionist at a music store. After that, I was a snackbar attendant at a department store, a cashier/Lottery machine operator at the Red Fox, and a bowling/billiard attendant at college. That was all part-time and before I got my degree. (Since then, I've been a newspaper reporter/editor and now am a PR executive.)

Five of my bad habits. (Again, just five?) Procrastinating (Never do today what you can safely put off until tomorrow.) Not always finishing what I start. (My grandmother used to always say my eyes were bigger than my stomach. I think that applies not only to my appetite but also to my ambition. I have the desire to achieve more, just not always the ability.) Shaking my foot. (It's some involuntary nervous tic. Most of the time, I'm oblivious to even doing it.) Junk food. (though I am much, much better in 2008) Impatience. (I want it now. RIGHT NOW!)

Five places I’ve lived. I've lived in the St. Louis metro area my entire life -- except for six months in Decatur, Ill., when I was 2 or so. I did live in St. Louis for a while but have also claimed residency in Edwardsville, Granite City, Venice, and Belleville -- all in Illinois -- at some time or another.

Five people I want to get to know better. I’m tagging you in accordance with the instructions -- and with the hopes that you’ll play along. Forgive me if any of you have already been previously tagged for this game and I missed it or forgot seeing it. (I've been inhaling way too much dry mortar lately though I do recall seeing several of you tagged recently -- just can't remember WHO!) I was going to tag Jayne, but she beat me to it. Great minds and all ...
- Ann at VelvetLava
- KayO at Dear Dominik
- Jen at Dogs and Jen
- Elaine at Bless This DIY Mess
- smilingjudy at Time Thief

When you tag your people, leave them a comment letting them know that you have tagged them and asking them to check out your blog. Have fun! Looking forward to reading more of these.

Porchified

New word, boys and girls. Porchification: The act of experiencing malaise brought on by the handling of hundreds of bricks and playing in mortar, occasionally in a crouched position.

I hustled home from work and got in nearly three hours of work last night. I feel like the bus I rode home on last night splattered me in the street, but I got down to just two rows, including the row of half-bricks! It will take a while to cut those babies, but that's a different day's efforts.

It was hot, but not miserable, and the porch was in the shade completely by the time I got out there. The wind picked up occasionally but was calm for the most part. I even managed to start misting while there was some light left. Makes it much easier when you can see what you’re doing. There wasn't much of a moon but there were tons of lightning bugs. I played with them for a bit. They're so cool.

It was strange to go out this morning and see the one portion almost completely covered. (I’ll try for pictures tomorrow. I’d like to get everything but the half-brick row down first. Otherwise, it might not look that different to you.)

The cutting will slow things, as will digging out the front edge. But with any luck, I can get that done by tomorrow night. That would get me ready to do the smaller part of the porch – and then onward to busting up the sidewalk and building a walkway.

It also means I have to figure out whether to cover the bases of the columns. I think it might look weird to have them exposed, but Carole doesn’t want them covered. (Reminding her that I am a writer, not an engineer, or even a union bricklayer. Those folks would know what to do.)

As Clint Eastwood’s “Dirty Harry” once said: “A man’s got to know his limitations.” Holds true for a woman, too. And this one knows hers. But I've got at least a day or two before I get there. So, while I'm quoting movie lines, I'll steal one from Scarlett O'Hara: "I'll think about that tomorrow."