I think a combination of stress and lack of sleep have finally come to beat the hell out of me. I’m waving a white flag. They win.
Like a lot of people these days, I’m on edge, and the stress is contributing to my lack of sleep. And, natural-born insomniac that I am, I don’t sleep much to start with. A combination of things at work and home are the key culprits. And I’ve been eating lots of junk again after being quite good for months.
Clearly, I need to calm down. I’m trying, believe me, but it’s not easy.
My body is letting me know that it’s unhappy, too. Primarily, it’s using my brain as the message-bearer. The message: your brain is shutting down. Game off. G’night everybody.
I can’t remember ANYTHING! It’s a miracle I make it back to This D*mn House at night. (Stress, sleep deprivation and poor diet = short-term memory trauma.)
I forget phone numbers that I call all the time. I go to greet people in the hall and their names escape me. Things I was supposed to add to documents … might as well tell the wall.
I’m losing things. Constantly. Last night is a great example. I left my jacket on the bus. Or maybe, at the bus stop. This wouldn’t be a big deal except my keys happen to be in one of the pockets. Good thing I didn’t drive to the bus station or I wouldn’t have been able to get the car home!
So this morning I ask the driver if he can ask dispatch if someone turned in a jacket. I describe it and add that it had keys in the pocket. He attempts but they say I have to call them. And I’d have done that right there on the bus.
Except my cell phone is at home, either on the table or the couch – along with my Nano and sunglasses because I forgot to grab them on my way out. (I’d have gone back into the house to retrieve them this morning except I don’t have keys, remember? And I wasn’t about to wake the mother.)
When I got off the bus, I walked up to my evening stop on the off chance that if I’d left my jacket there. it would be waiting for me. No such luck. When I get to my office, I go to close my door to call the transit system’s dispatch center. As I touch the door, something catches my eye: my jacket.
Hanging. On. The. Back. Of. The Door. Dear God. Please help me.
The one thing I have to do tonight is go to the grocery store. Once everything is home and put away, I’m taking a shower and going to bed. Before I retire, I think I’ll have some hot tea. Nice and relaxing. And adding a shot or two of Amaretto to it shouldn't hurt either.
That’s not a guarantee that I will sleep, but I’m putting forth the effort.