To say that I was a slug on Saturday would be an insult to slugs. The slugs are plenty busy at This D*mn House. We’ve been overrun with them this year. Their slimy trails can be found late every night and early each morning traversing across the deck, down my walkway, and through the driveway. I seriously hate them.
And if I hate them, well, I don’t think there are words strong enough for how the mother feels about them. She’s been out there lately, flashlight in hand on slug patrol, wiping out however many may cross her path. As much as I dislike them, I owe them in a way. Because they had eaten one of the shrubs to death, one we replaced in May 2007, it set the stage for being able to get rid of the shrubs from hell once and for all.
They’re very destructive little buggers. We tried the beer method a few years back. It worked a little bit. This involves buying some cheap beer (it’s good enough for ‘em!), pouring it into shallow bowls and leaving the beer-filled bowls at night near where you find slimy trails.
Frankly, I think maybe it backfired.
While it did render a few to a final swim in the hops, I think perhaps the cheap beer made Selma the Slug look just a tad more attractive than usual. (Even a homely slug can look good with a little inebriation and the right lack of lighting, I guess. ) Making matters worse: they're freakin' hermaphrodites, meaning they can ALL lay eggs! And they lay about 300 hundred of them in batches from 10 to 50 at a time. Jeez. How long before they're in the house watching cable?
Last year they returned with a vengeance and this year, now that it’s not 90 to 100 degrees every day, they’re even worse.
So instead of trying again with the slug saloon, and risking the need for the shelless mollusk equivalent of AA, we bought some Slug Rid. I have yet to read all the instructions and put it out for our unwanted nocturnal visitors but that will happen soon. I'll heavily weigh the potential risks if I do use it. But sorry. I'm not saving the slug.
Especially since the first rays of light this morning illuminated an all-too-familiar gooey line along my walkway. Bastards! I’ll let you know how it goes. But I'm open to any other good remedies if you've got them.
Selma/Sam, your days are numbered …