Mail Call!

I may be a newly converted computer geek, but I still love to get mail. Real, physical, take-it-out-of-the-mailbox, mail. Sadly, 95 percent of such correspondence is a bill, a solicitation for a donation, or addressed to "resident" or "occupant."

But Saturday was different. I actually got three pieces of bonafide mail, two of which were NOT in one of the above categories. Because I was zealously beginning the porch project, I barely looked at my mail until Saturday night and I didn't even read most of it until last night. But it was thrilling.

First, there was a birthday card from a family friend. Mom saw it first, noted the return address, and quizzically asked: "Did Chris send you a birthday card?" Ummm, haven't opened it, so I don't know. But yes, it was indeed a birthday card, with a Lowe's gift card to boot. (Does she know me or what?) There's just one problem: It's not my birthday. Well, not yet.

Apparently, Chris got June and July confused this year. But hey, five weeks early is better than five weeks late, right? I'll try not to kid her too much. Maybe this means I get a birthday season. Hmmm. Interesting concept.

Second, I got my copy of YorkieTalk Cooks, the official YT cookbook. I was so surprised by the quality. Much more than I anticipated. A really darling compilation of stuff I may have to try. (And Betty Crocker, I ain't.) Good food, cute Yorkie pictures, and something I had a small hand in helping to produce. (I did some recipe editing.) It will get favored status on ye old bookshelf.

Last, but certainly not least, I got the EOB from the insurance company. So, here it is in black and white, the final analysis of just how much the injured midigit will cost me. I opened the envelope slowly, pulled out the thick stack of paperwork, winced, and then jumped in to see the damage.

As I suspected, there were some pretty hefty "in-network discounts" applied, cutting the $1,800+ total by more than half. A little quick math going on before I continued to assess the page: 20 percent of $900 is $180. OK. Lots better than $475.

But wait. As I pan across the grid for each charge it says I have no charges that weren't covered. Good. I have no deductible. Right. That was the thing I liked best about this plan and why I pay a few bucks more each payday for it. Coinsurance, 0, copayment, $50. OK. The $50 I knew because I paid that at the ER before I left. Then, the bottom line kicker is the summary line.

YOUR TOTAL RESPONSIBILITY TO YOUR PROVIDER: $50. Translation: All I owe is the copay -- which is paid!

My insurance plan is even better than I thought. While I'm happy that I now owe nothing, it still doesn't change my initial thought that our healthcare system needs a lot of fixing.

Just don't send it to the ER.