Monday, June 23, 2008
A Place to Keep Your Stuff
George Carlin, the man who gave us the seven words you can never say on television, but now frequently hear quite a few of them, has died.
He could be vulgar and a little on the crass side, particularly in recent years, but I always found something I could relate to. I frequently think about his schtick on driving (everyone going faster than you is a maniac; everyone going slower is a moron) and his disgust with those who don't use turn signals, a pet peeve of mine.
I remember laughing hysterically when I watched him do his "stuff" bit on television. (It's also in his book Brain Droppings from about a decade ago.) We laugh about this regularly at This D*mn House, particularly when we're trying to find somewhere to put something. Here's part of the bit. See if it doesn't sound like your house.
So stuff is important. You gotta take care of your stuff. You gotta have a place for your stuff. Everybody's gotta have a place for their stuff. That's what life is all about, tryin' to find a place for your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house.You could just walk around all the time. A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it.
… So when you get right down to it, a house is just a place to keep your stuff … while you go out get … more stuff. Because that's what this country is all about. Tryin' to get more stuff. Stuff you don't want, stuff you don't need, stuff that's poorly made, stuff that's overpriced. Even stuff you can't afford! Gotta keep on gettin' more stuff. … So you keep on gettin' more and more stuff and puttin' it in different places. In the closet, in the attic, in the basement, in the garage. And there might even be some stuff you left at your parents' house: baseball cards, comic books, photographs, souvenirs. Actually, your parents threw that stuff out long ago.
So, now you've got a houseful of stuff. And even though you might like your house, you gotta move. You gotta get a bigger house. Why? Too much stuff! And that means you gotta move all your stuff. Or maybe, put some of your stuff in storage. Storage. Imagine that! There's a whole industry based on keepin' an eye on other people's stuff.
Really great stuff. RIP George. Thanks for the laughs.