Dear Santa

Dear Santa – I’ve been really good this year. Ask anyone. Seriously. I’ve barely wandered away from This D*mn House at all, except to go to work – so I can buy more stuff to work on This D*mn House.

Space is tight, so I’m not asking for too many things. I wouldn’t have any place to put them, even if you did bring them. So, like me, the list will be pretty short.

• My family has been really good the past year or two at feeding my scrapbooking addiction. If you could keep steering them that direction, it would be great. Or maybe a gift card to get some books or music. I would like that.
• I would also like to win the Powerball jackpot, preferably on a day when it’s in the tens of millions. (Like this Saturday for instance. That would be a great way to start off 2009!) If that’s not possible, if you could put a good word in for me at work so I can continue to keep my job even in this down economy, that would be good. And since I won’t have millions to lavish on my family and friends, if you could at least do the same for them, I’d be happy.
• Give the mother some extra added happiness and joy. She certainly deserves it. Believe me, this is a huge gift to me. There are few things I can think of that make me happier than to see her happy or genuinely enjoying something.
• I’m not sure I believe that world peace is possible – but some peace certainly is. We live in very troubled times, so any little portions of peace – or even peace of mind – you could scatter around the globe I’m grateful for.
• Here’s a twist: Instead of leaving something, could you please take away some of the pain and suffering? There is so much of it everywhere in both people and animals. I know we bring some of it on ourselves, but I’m tired of the innocent and defenseless getting the crap kicked out of them all the time.
• And finally, if there’s any way at all you can manage it, I’d love to wake up to find Carter Oosterhouse under the tree. OK -- under the tree is asking for a lot. More like leave him sitting at the dining room table. That would be just fine! Mind you, nothing else would get any attention at This D*mn House, but I’m OK with that.

So Santa, I hope you can help me out here. My requests don't need too much room in your sleigh.