Sunday, January 25, 2009

A Doomed Love


The mother is in love. She is in love with a frame just above 5'8. And his waist? Just beyond a 32. A nice, healthy size. Ah, and he does sparkle so!

He sparkles because he is stainless steel. You see, he is a refrigerator. She has been talking about this refrigerator for months. She started again in earnest yesterday when we stopped by both Home Depot and Lowe's. (We regularly visit both the Thomasville cabinets we wish we had, and this appliance on which the mother has become so unfalteringly fixated.)

But it is a love as doomed as that of Newland and the Countess Olenska. (From the Age of Innocence, the Edith Wharton classic, which is on cable right now.)

The very thing that makes it so attractive -- stainless steel aside -- is the thing that kills the deal: the dimensions. It will not fit in the kitchen. Not without removing an upper cabinet and at least 2 inches of the countertop. To put it succinctly, that ain't hap'nin.

The reality came with a flyer that one of the Lowe's associates was kind enough to send home with us. I had written down the measurements previously and done the measuring but her bubble remain unburst. But standing in the kitchen today, clutching the flyer as I measured, the facts were irreputable. It's too tall. It's too wide. (Not to mention how friggin' expensive this thing is. I can overlook that. It's stainless and we've had our current fridge for more than a decade.)

Even so, while the flame may not burn as brightly as it once did, it burns still. Like a newly jilted lover, the mother remains in the delusional state. He can still come to live with us. The kitchen will be his ultimate home.

The finality of it has yet to sink in. God help me in the meantime.

11 comments:

Renovation Therapy said...

Your Mom makes me giggle...

Gene said...

Great post -- I had a good laugh.

sewwhat? said...

I had a problem getting one new refrig in the front door! Make sure the door is big enough, as well as the space the thing fits into. With another one I bought, I didn't measure head space needed, and it sat in the middle of the room for a couple of weeks until I found someone who could trim my cabinet off. They must think we all live in houses with 10 foot ceilings and 6 foot wide doors.

starsimplified said...

Tell the mother to cheer up! Maybe somewhere out there in Appliance Land, he has a shorter, skinnier brother! :)

Jayne said...

I know what you mean about visiting things you wish you had--I keep visiting a $3,000 tub at Lowe's. Sigh. Not in this lifetime. So I know just how your mom feels...

NV said...

RT -- Yeah. She has that effect on me, too. Sometimes.

Gene -- Glad you enjoyed it! I could scarcely stifle a chuckle.

sewwhat -- That's funny though I know it's not. I told the mother we can always put it outside the kitchen window and run an extension cord to it. She didn't laugh though.

star -- Sadly, no. The Lowe's guy checked. The ultra-frigid love of her life is an only child. :(

Jayne -- That makes me feel better! I always feel so stupid "visiting" those cabinets!

Karen Anne said...

There must be other stainless steel frigs of other brands, no?

Wait til it has to be cleaned tho. Make a deal with the Mother than she cleans the stainless steel parts. On my to do list is getting rid of my stainless steel kitchen sink for that reason.

Vicki said...

I've got to tell you our fridge story. When we moved to MO we had to get a fridge and were in love with a gigantic fridge. So we asked the landlords (we knew them) and they let us sand down the wood that frame the fridge on the left side. It fit heighth wise though so we didn't have to worry about that.

NV said...

KarenAnne -- Yes, but nothing yet that will appease the mother. And we're both aware of the stainless issue. It will make my life hell, that's for sure.

V -- A fridge story with a HAPPY ending! Now I can sign on for that, girl. :-)

Karabeth said...

Oh the pain of unrequited love. Someday her heart will mend, but a scar will always remain and she will sigh deeply when she thinks of her first true love. :)

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