Thursday, October 8, 2009

Diagnosing "DIY Overload"

Not that any of this applies to me, but you might be in DIY overload if:

  • Most of your shoes collectively bear more color samples than the average hardware store paint department.
  • The grand opening of a Lowe’s is huge news around your house. HUGE!
  • You discover that the kitten’s favorite new play toy is a self-drilling screw she found on the floor.
  • Your kitchen cabinets hold very little food – but grout, caulk and construction adhesive are there in abundance.
  • The expiration of an unused big box hardware store coupon can induce tears.
  • Plastic, a blanket and the legally-required red flag live in your car trunk. Just in case …
  • Your favorite holiday or birthday gift is a Home Depot gift card.
  • The best piece of literature you read all week was a Harbor Freight flyer.
  • You tell time by: “The hardware store opens/closes in x hours.”
  • You let a gym membership lapse because 50-pound bags of concrete are enough of a work-out.
  • Higher education consists of in-store “how-to” lessons.
  • Your latest fashion statements are latex gloves – in COLORS!
  • Hearing “If I Had a Hammer” evokes feelings of patriotism.

15 comments:

denise said...

LOL! The new closet organization system I installed in our bedroom came in VERY handy for all our bathroom tile tools, and yeah, was feeling very good about the upper body workout I was getting by using the grout float (but not so happy about the carpal tunnel!).

happileah said...

TRUE! I just realized that I have more painting clothes than good clothes...sigh.

Randie said...

Ha! I can almost always point to a spot somewhere on my outfit when someone asks what color a room in my house is.

Unknown said...

You speak if these things as if DIY Overload u=is a bad thing...

kampman said...

Sounds like "DIY Overload" may not be a good thing. Anyone need help come to http://knkhomeimprovements.com
We'll diagnose this problem.

Jayne said...

I can totally identify with all of that!

Vicki said...

I love it! I don't see you in any of those. at all.

Debra said...

So true!! I remember the days when I bought silly things like purses, shoes and clothes... now it's all about paint, lawn & garden supplies, tools, etc.

*sigh* to have a decent pair of jeans that don't remind me of the song 'a coat of many colors' by Loretta Lynn. ha

MonkeyGirl said...

If you change the first sentence to "Some of your shoes..." then I would have to have this laminated and posted on your wall!

Why S? said...

How sad is it that I hide paint brushes and sanding blocks in my closet so that when I need the good ones, I'll know where to find them?

Victoria said...

Thanks I needed a good laugh! This week I managed to paint up my last good pair of jeans, now every pair I own has some color swatch from somewhere in the house.

Kate R said...

How funny! I'm sitting here reading this in my favorite paint spattered hoodie and I stopped halfway through the list to go get my wallet & check the expiration date on my Lowe's coupons. And yeah, my latex-free gloves are purple which I have to hide from my dd because she thinks they are "tight" (aka cool).

Glad to see I'm in such good company!

C&C said...

That is a great list! Another to add could be boo-boo identification: "this scratch is from replacing the screen wire, and ..."

NV said...

Denise -- Yeah. DIY can be tough on the b-o-d-y. That's for sure!

Leah -- The mother, too. I was doing laundry one day and asked her if her mission in life was to get paint on every piece of clothing she owns? Sure seems like it.

Randie, Victoria -- You're a walking color chart! :-)

Gene -- Nope. Never really said a bad thing. :-)

kampman -- Thanks! May have to visit ya.

Jayne, Vicki, Debbie, MG -- LOL!

Why -- The mother does that -- in the kitchen cabinets! Makes me insane.

Kate -- Tee hee! Yeah, Lowe's just sent a second set in the past week or so and I managed to used the $10 one from last month. And when I got some gloves the mother said, "OOOOh, they'reblue."

C&C -- You're SO right! Let's not forget injuries. I'm like the Les Nessman of Band-Aids!

elaine said...

Love. This. SO. MUCH.