Friday, August 22, 2008

Ode to a Front Door Lost


Front door, front door
You don’t look like this anymore.

All of your wonderful woodness is gone.
Your lovely stain now painted upon.

Perhaps you saw it on HGTV
And thought to yourself, “Oh, how would that be?”

Perhaps it did look quite nice there.
It’s not my house. So I don’t care.

But here, it doesn’t look so good.
On this door of mine, this door of wood.

No matter what she thinks
Or what she might say,
I’m taking Carole’s paint brush away …


When I went to bed Wednesday night, the front door was being sanded. When I got up yesterday morning, the door was WHITE. Yes, white.

I hate it. It will not grow on me. The only thing that could potentially make it grow on me is if she would paint the two panels below the glass panels either house gray or accent gray (a darker gray than house color). Or maybe gray around the raised edges of all four panels, including the two glass ones.

Otherwise, it just seems wrong. It looks wrong. Hell, it is wrong. Especially when you consider all the white of the storm door, gingerbread, and newel posts around it. (And this unbearable whiteness of being from the woman who always says “There’s too much white” when she enters a room without color.) What in God’s name was she thinking? The mother is usually spot-on with this kind of thing, but on this one, I'm seriously disagreeing.

I’m hoping that by the time I get home (hopefully, home with a car with two functioning headlights and no mobile fishtank) that she’s had some kind of change of heart and done something else to it.

15 comments:

Ty'sMommy said...

Oh, nooooooo....no, say she didn't.....

kspinning said...

Can't comment. Too busy laughing over poem! hilarious! :)

Gene said...

I do not like white on a mouse.
I do not like it on my house.


I'd originally planned to paint our new front door dark green to match what the old one was, but when we got it I saw the lovely grain and decided to go with a dark green stain so the grain shows through.

I think backsies from painting is hard :-(

Vicki @ notsosahm.wordpress.com said...

Where's the after picture? I've got to see it. I've always been partial to red doors. Not sure how that would look with grey though.

Are you with functioning car?

NV said...

ty'smom -- I wish I was joking. I HATE it. I think she is going to paint gray onto the panel trim later though.

kspin -- Thanks. We aim to amuse.

Gene -- Yeah, there's no going back now. The damage is done. Not my choice, but then wasn't consulted.

V -- I took a picture yesterday but haven't downloaded it yet. I just hate it. And now the backdoor is white, too. Not good.

The car is home with both headlights working again, I'm happy to report!

Jayne said...

The unbearable whiteness of being.
(Sorry, but I had to go there. You know how I am about my movie titles.)

Your poem cracked me up. The door...does not.

NV said...

Jayne -- Thanks. I found myself muttering that opening line, or something close to it, when I first saw the door Thursday. I'm still not liking it.

CD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gene said...

While I'm a big fan of the stained look, the white door is growing on me. Its recent appearances in the posts on the brick front walk are making me thing the mother may have done OK, even if not your first choice. On door colors, that is, not mothers :-)

NV said...

gene -- I was telling Jayne that I think I might like it better (though i think I will always be partial to the stain) once the trim on the panels gets painted gray. Right now it is entirely too much white. And yes, the rail, though new, is almost identical to what was up before I started though once the finials get up, that will be a nice new twist!

Ann said...

The unbearable whiteness of being!!!!!! Oh, I LOVE it.

Sara said...

OH! I HAVE to see after pictures!

NV said...

Ann -- Yeah, that was a reference I couldn't pass up. You know how I love puns. :-)

Sara -- You can kind of see it in some of my other posts like The Second Third, parts 1 and 2. I haven't done any closeups yet. Will save that for when the doorbell arrives!

justjuli said...

bummer! Would've been better if she had consulted with you at least.

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